TCATS #413 - Christmas Concert 2021

This past week was the busiest week of the year for the Choir. Minus Monday night, all the other nights (+ Sunday morning) was spent at the Conference Center prepping for and performing the 2021 Christmas Concert. 

While the whole "choir experience" is still difficult for me right now, I did want to list off ten grateful blessings I was a recipient of this past week. These will be given in no particular order.

10. I was grateful to have had zero traffic issues commuting into the Conference Center. Tuesday night's snow storm was really stressful to travel home in, but aside from that, things were good.

9. I was grateful to witness the legions of people sacrificing so much time and effort to make this concert a reality. It's always so amazing to me how many people it takes and how most of those people do their tasks with a smile. From the filming crew, to the teleprompter guy, to the cafeteria staff, to the make-up team, to the musicians , to the security staff, and 100s of others, thank you.

8. I was grateful to spend time with choir members during breaks and other "down" moments. We normally get so little time to do that (particularly with the covid protocols) that it's refreshingly nice when we do.

7. I was grateful to hear about friends and family who came to the concerts and their positive reactions. Some shared on the choir's FB account how various songs/experiences seemed to be custom-made just for their loved ones who really needed to feel the spirit of Christ in their lives at this particular time. 

6. I was grateful that the Choir got to sing "Jesus, Jesus, Rest Your Head". I enjoyed other songs we sang, too, but this one was my favorite. The choir rarely does anything acapella and not only was this one sung acapella, but it was sung while we were closer together--sort of in a huddle of sorts. It all produced a special feeling.

5. I was grateful that the two special guests were given the opportunity to talk with the choir and tell us all more about them and their beliefs and how much they loved the opportunity they were given to participate with the choir. Both Megan and Neal are devout Christians (despite Neal always playing the "bad guy" on TV and in movies) and their faith/beliefs are a major part of their lives. They are very family oriented and seem to have their priorities straight. 

4. I was grateful that during that session, Neal suggested we pray. So we all stood and prayed Irish Catholic style. It's very meaningful to be part of faith-bridging and to know we're all brothers and sisters. 

3. I was grateful to watch Ryan Murphy direct the few numbers he did. He was all smiles and I could tell hew was really enjoying every moment.

2. I was grateful to witness Megan trying to fix just a few notes she was trying to sing perfectly during our recording session. She accepted the constructive criticism Mack and Ryan gave her with grace and appreciation. It gave credit to the statement she made later during the "sharing session" (#5 above) when she said that one of the things she strives for in the entertainment business she's in, is to find people who are not only supportive of her and her talents when things are going well, but to find people that are still supportive when she fails.

1. I was grateful to Rick Elliott who spotted me walking a few steps behind him (as we were headed to one of our rehearsals) and took the time to ask how I was and how I was faring during this busy week. He didn't have to do that. But it showed me that even one of the most talented organists in the world humbly seeks out the one to minister to.

Hope you all have a very merry Christmas. The choir doesn't resume operations until January 6th, so I'll "talk" to you all then.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #412 - Sunday in Pics

Things went pretty much like clockwork this week as we met Tuesday, Thursday, and then today (Sunday) to prepare for this week's Music & the Spoken Word (MSW), the First Presidency Christmas devotional, and our Christmas Concert on Dec 16, 17, and 18. All of these events are still closed to the general public. They are letting family members attend the weekly MSW broadcasts, as well as friends who are not of our faith, but only 100 individuals per week. And they have to be vaccinated (which I won't comment on, though it's tempting).

I thought it might be at least somewhat interesting for you to see some pics of my choir journey today--just to do something different for this blog. So without any formal introduction to these pics, here we go...

(Double-click to enlarge)

Waiting to turn left into the Conference Center parking lot

Down a corridor towards the test center

A make-shift covid testing center with ten stations

Getting issued my test

Tests waiting for the results to appear

My test station

Waiting to get through security

My wardrobe changing station (B108)

What the changing station looks like

The section that contains all of my suits & ties

Headed out to the choir seats

Conference Center view from the far right.

How things look from where I sit

The songs we performed today

If you look carefully, you can see the various teleprompters

Sorting music in the library after the performance was over. Siope and I gather music from B-56 through B-110

Another view of the music sorting process

There you have it. 

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #411 - Come O Come

I won't sugar coat it. Today's choir experience was just sort of ho-hum for me. I've been trying really hard not to let the covid protocols we have to follow, bother me or become my focus. But sometimes it's just too much. Coming 45 minutes earlier than normal, two to three times a week to get covid tested is fine. Inconvenient, but fine. But having to wear masks at times when we're socially distanced and then having to wear them before and after we've been singing for four hours without them, makes zero sense to me. If someone in the choir wants to enlighten me with how this can be even remotely logical, please let me know. I promise I'll listen carefully and kindly to what you have to say and will thank you for your explanation. 

Sorry. My last several posts have been covid-comment free. But I couldn't not say something today because it's unfortunately become a very real influencer on my choir experience. 

Today's broadcast was the first of several Christmas-themed ones we'll be airing from now until the end of the year. Out of today's five songs, my favorite was "O Come O Come Emmanuel." I quite enjoy songs with "haunting" melodies that are often in minor keys, and this song fits that profile. Why? Because for me, although Christmas can be cheery and bright and full of joy all wrapped up in a neat present with a bow on top, Christmas can also be a difficult and complicated time. And not only that, but the whole Christmas story of Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem and giving birth to Jesus in a stable of animals had, contained within it, emotional and physical difficulties and complexities that a song like "Joy to the World" (as much as I love that song) cannot convey.

Some lyrics from "O Come O Come" that are worth pondering:

"Ransom captive Israel that mourns"
"From depths of hell Thy people save"
"Cheer us...and disperse the gloomy clouds of night"
"Make safe the way"
"Rejoice, rejoice"

Rejoice indeed.

Not a lot of choir news to share. The Choir will be rehearsing the next couple of Tuesdays (along with the normal Thursdays) to prepare for the closed-to-the-public Christmas Concert coming up soon. After that, the Choir will turn its attention to what the new year will bring: General Conference, an Easter Concert, the Heritage Tour (which may or may not happen, again), the Summer Concert, General Conference again, and Christmas again. And so the cycle goes. 

May your plea that Christ come to you during this Christmas holiday, be answered in personal and miraculous ways.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #410 - The Teleprompter. A Love/Hate Relationship

As mentioned in a previous blog post, one of the goals of the Choir --now that we've resumed singing-- is to do a better job at singing to our audience directly. Or in other words, not looking down much at our music so that people can see directly into our eyes and countenance. One of the ways we now accomplish this is by relying on a teleprompter, which consists of probably 14 different strategically placed monitors. The idea is that no matter where you are in the choir seats, your eyes won't have to shift too far from where the director is standing (and thus make it look like you're looking directly at the director).

A few thoughts and observations about the teleprompter:

*While it gives us the words and even does a pretty good job at indicating which part (S, A, T or B) sings at any given time, its cannot give us the notes and rhythm, obviously. So most of our concentration during rehearsal goes into memorizing entrances, who sings when, what the notes are, and what the rhythm is. 

*Even if you have a song memorized fully, I find myself tempted to look at the words. It's like my mind is in a battle of trusting what I know and having the "answers" displayed conveniently right in front of me. A constant tug-o-war!

*When I have a song *almost* memorized, I can't really shift between looking at the teleprompter and looking at straight at the director because there's a definite eye shift that would be quite obvious on camera. So then I've got to make a decision to either keep my eyes glued to the screen so that eye shift doesn't happen, or I've got to trust that my memory will come through and keep my eyes focused on the director. But when a piece of music is only in the "almost" memorized camp, why would I risk trying to rely on my fallible memory?

*If I'm not careful, I can sing an entire song and not even think once about what I'm singing about as I read the words off the prompter. It's like driving down the freeway and after 10 minutes, realizing you really haven't thought about the actual driving you've been doing. To combat this, I take some time (while waiting for my covid test results) and look through the music's words and really try and internalize them so I can think about them while I'm singing.

*I found it refreshing today when the teleprompter went down during one of our pieces (during the run through). Fortunately it was a piece in which we were actually allowed to look at our music. So I followed along in my music, trying to glance down infrequently. But I found it was nice because I could see the notes and rhythm and felt very confident all of a sudden. 

*One could argue that the teleprompter is allowing us to memorize less lyrics. And that's true. There ARE choir members who try and memorize everything each week so they don't have to look at the prompter at all. And then there are those who memorize one or two pieces, knowing that singing a song that is fully memorized is the best of feelings and may come in handy later when we might be in a situation/venue where this is no prompter.

Anyway.

Not too much more to say about the choir topic today. The broadcast went extremely well. Mack even said it went the best it could have gone. Which is rare. I think my favorite from today was "Come Ye Thankful People Come". Not only does it speak about gratitude, but I like the lyric "All are safely gathered in." After the broadcast, we stayed and recorded a piece that will be used in our Christmas Concert and after that, I got changed and then did my music library duties until noon. 

Then I got to go home.

Until next time, God be with you. And for those of you who celebrate the holiday, have a very happy Thanksgiving!

Notice how none of us are looking down at our music!

TCATS #409 - Yoked

Sometimes God points us in a certain direction by having us hone in on a particular concept. And one way He does that is by repetition. 

Earlier this week, my son was asking about what a yoke was (and what it meant to be yoked). My wife took the opportunity to answer those questions and then tied it all into being yoked with Jesus Christ.

Then as I was reading a couple of talks a few days ago from this recent General Conference, both of them referenced the scripture in Matthew 11:30 "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Then, today's Spoken Word on the broadcast ended with these words: "By inviting us to join Him in His yoke, the Lord is not promising to make our burdens disappear. Instead, He offers to carry them with us—to heal us in our heartache, to comfort us in our sorrow. None of us is as strong as we’d like to be. We need help from Someone greater than us all. When our journey makes us weary, He can help us find what we’ve been searching for—rest in Him."

As I pondered this concept of being yoked with Christ, I realized that I sometimes toss the yoke option aside and just want to carry my burdens without His help or involvement. As a fellow "pilgrim on a sea of strife, oft wounded, lost and weak" (from "May We Be More Like Thee" on today's broadcast), I'm not sure why I sometimes decline divine assistance. But I do. Maybe it's because I think I have enough strength. Maybe it's because I feel like the support I get from my family and friends is sufficient. Or maybe it's because my faith sometimes reaches a low point and I feel like the yoke is too hard to find, let alone put on. But I guess I'm re-realizing that if Christ is a true friend who loves me and is always eager to help me, it makes very little sense to turn down that love and assistance.  Accepting it will only help. It will only make each day a little easier and a little brighter. And who wouldn't want that?

At any rate, today's "Choir experience" was a good one. I enjoyed the songs, was able to get the words to one I was working hard on over the weekend ("Give Glory to His Honored Name"), and was able to talk to several friends whom I'm grateful for. 

As for Choir "news", I supposed the biggest news came on Thursday when we were told that we would indeed be having a Christmas Concert, but that it was going to be more of a Christmas "taping session". Audience members would be severely limited each night (no available public tickets) and it would mainly be something that everyone will get to see NEXT year. Our Christmas concerts are normally broadcast a year later, but the fact that the Conference Center wouldn't be filled to see it, certainly makes this year's concert unique. You can find out all about this year's concert (including the special guests) as well as how to watch our "20 Years of Christmas" video special--which will be broadcast on numerous stations at various time in December--by clicking HERE.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #408 - Christmas Best

Today's post will be brief as I didn't attend choir rehearsal on Thursday or the Music & the Spoken Word broadcast today. I wanted to be at home for my dear wife who was experiencing some post Covid-booster shot health issues (which thankfully are subsiding) and I struggle sometimes when the Choir dedicates a whole program to U.S.-centric holidays when one of our goals is to be more aware of our global audience. That said, I know the Choir is famous, in part, for how well it performs patriotic music. And I'm certainly nothing but grateful for our U.S. veterans (and veterans from other countries) who not only gave much for the price of freedom, but in some cases, continue to struggle with afflictions and/or side-effects from the nature of their service. 

Switching topics....

I'm one of those people who prefers not to listen to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. But I know there are many people out there who love to start listening to it as early as possible. Regardless of which camp you fall into, there are some new Tabernacle Choir Christmas listening and viewing options you should be aware of (for either now or later). 

First, there's the "Christmas Best" album that contains 13 songs from past Christmas concerts that the Choir has done. Then there's a video presentation as well. The Choir's website has the following description for the video: "This unique video recording is a must-have selection for everyone who loves Christmas. With two decades of Christmas performances by over 40 world-renowned individual artists and excerpts from over 60 songs, carols, and stories from around the world, this unique video recording is a must-have selection for everyone who loves Christmas."

I'm really excited about this Christmas album and video presentation and am eager for you to check them out. 

How do you do that exactly? 

Well, for the album, you can go the old-school route and purchase a CD. OR, you can stream the new album via Spotify or Apple Music. 

For the video, it looks like the only purchase option right now is a DVD, unfortunately. Hopefully a higher-quality version will be forthcoming (I'll certainly let you know). 

And that is it, my friends. Make this next week a really great one!

And until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #407 - Moving a Mountain

After the success of last week's "debut" broadcast and the many accolades the Choir, Bells, and Orchestra received (see YouTube chat comments at end of this post), our music directors were just a tad nervous that the broadcast today wouldn't measure up. But, both Mack and Ryan expressed how well it went and thanked us all for our hard work. As mentioned before, one of the goals (now that we're back singing again) is to do more songs by memory so that people watching us can see our eyes and faces more. Last week's broadcast was all memorized and this week, we had four of the five songs sung by memory. Thank goodness for that teleprompter though, which comes in handy from time to time. 

There are so many thoughts I could share about each one of the songs we sang today. But in short, one of the ones we sang was called "Anyone Can Move a Mountain." In all honesty, this was my least favorite of the five in terms of style (it reminded me of something you'd hear from the 50s or 60s on the Lawrence Welk Show--no offense to those who like this style!). That said, I was glad we sang it if only for the opportunity to ponder the lyrics themselves. The fact is, each of us is going through something hard and I think that at some point in our lives, we've all wished we could move the "mountain" in front of us. And while the lyrics of the song attest to the fact that we CAN move the mountain, I like to think of that "moving" as rather "conquering". It might be a bad habit or living with a health challenge or mending a relationship or simply getting up each morning to go work at a job we don't really enjoy. Whatever our mountain is, we can (as Lloyd Newell said in his spoken word today) try to conquer it through hard work. We can also rely on the support and love of others. And we can rely on our Savior as well. Conquering it or moving it doesn't mean it will entirely go away. We might have to live under the mountain's shadow for a time. But as long as we're trying. There's something to be said about effort.

OK. Well, a few other tidbits about today:

*Bishop Caussé said that after a meeting he had with various church leaders this past week, President Nelson asked him to stay so he (Pres. Nelson) could give him some feedback on the Choir. Basically, Pres. Nelson said that he really enjoyed watching and listening to the broadcast last week and wanted to Choir to know how much he loved it. That was nice to hear.

*We started learning Christmas music for future broadcasts, for the First Presidency Christmas Devotional, and for the Christmas Concert. Most of the songs we started learning were not of the traditional Christmas sort but the fact we've started is significant. I'm not sure what the Christmas Concert will entail this year--they haven't said much about it. We don't even know if there will be some sort of guest artist since no artist was announced earlier this year as is tradition. But I'm sure whatever it is, it will be great. 

*I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that David and Deb Gehris were released as the seating managers. Well, today was their official last day and we sang "God Be With You" at the end of the broadcast, to them. They were teary-eyed. They both had sung in the choir for 20 years and then were seating managers for 15 after that. So...a lot of time invested. While I was sometimes critical of how David did his job, I recognize it was not an easy one and that he and Deb spent countless hours helping us all look good and organized in the choir loft. So thanks to you both! And good luck with the next door that opens for you.

*We've started covid-testing ourselves. Meaning, each of us performs our own test instead of having someone on the medical committee do it. It's actually not too difficult so this change was a good one as it frees up committee members who were having to come extra early (even earlier than the rest of us). And I'm sure it speeds things up overall.

Until next time, God be with you. 

-------------------

YouTube chat comments from last week's broadcast:

• Ok... good grief... where are my tissues??? ☺
• I am so grateful for each of them doing what they needed to do to sing together again.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
• Me siento muy agradecida con mi Padre Celestial por ver de nuevo al coro del Tabernaculo,
cantar en vivo y oirlos cantar en español, esto es muy especial para
• It is truly absolutely beautiful!!!
• This song is amazing! Thank you for a song in Spanish. Estoy tan agradecido!
• Bella música! Coro del Tabernáculo.
• What an incredible way to begin a Sabbath morning:)
• WELCOME BACK TO THE TABERNACLE CHOIR AND SPOKEN WORD THAT THE WHOLE
WORLD NEEDS TODAY, WORDS OF ADVICE TO HELP EACH ONE OF US. THANKS SO MUCH!!!
• I’m crying with that song in Spanish e ingles!!
• Another beautiful arrangement. Their Spanish was pretty good too!
• So missed this
• Love it! thank you
• Welcome back tabernacle choir at temple square
• Goodness, could this be more glorious?!
• I love this violin ostinato.
• Praise and Thanksgiving performed by Richard Elliott amazingly played
• Wow! This is just GLORIOUS!!!
• Isn't it amazing! This global praise through glorious voices!
• It is such a great blessing to see this Lord's choir after the pandemic.
• What a powerful performance. God is great!!!
• The Bells!
• Wow!! This is absolutely Wonderful!!
• Yes!! Miracles have never ceased
• Amen and Hallelujah!!
• Oh! the words displayed on screen and seeing the choir all present and signing together! A
wonderful blessing! Thank you, choir and all involved for all your hard work! We love you!
• This is enough to make us all weep for joy
• What a way to return to live broadcast.
• Just what my heart needed this morning

TCATS #406 - 20 Months Later. . .MSW Resumes

It's true that the Choir's official return from the pandemic hiatus was a few weeks ago when we performed at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' annual general conference. But since general conference is viewed mostly by members of the Church, today's Music & the Spoken Word  broadcast was truly significant because it was the first time that fans, viewers and listeners around the world (who, of course, consist of people of all walks of life), were able to experience a live broadcast. 

Today's broadcast was also significant because of the many enhancements it included, all of which are highlighted in the Choir's official blog (HERE).  In short though, the enhancements included a new opening sequence, a new logo, a new arrangement of "Gently Raise", and the inclusion of more on-screen information for each song performed. 

Also today, we performed three new songs, one newly arranged song, and two Choir favorites. The last song performed, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" was the last song the Choir sang back in March 2020 before the Choir had to go into "pause mode". So it was nice to end with that one, again. 

So how did I personally feel about the whole experience? 

Some thoughts: 

*Overall, I enjoyed it. And there were a few moments when I felt that tingly, uplifting feeling wash over me which was intertwined with hope and gratitude. 

*While I was appreciative of each song we sang, especially the new one I wrote about last week, it was nice to include a Spanish song --"Tuya es la Gloria (To Thee Be the Glory)"--as I've always thought that we should do more songs that our brothers and sisters in other countries can especially appreciate.

*It was nice to have Lloyd Newell address the choir before the broadcast started. I think he articulated what we were all feeling: we had taken a long break and that break was difficult. But being back together again, it was strange to feel that in some regards, it was like we never had the break at all. 

*We all missed the energy that a live audience contributes to the overall broadcast experience. That was most notable at the end when we normally sing "God Be With You" to all those in attendance. With no audience today, we didn't end with that song.

*I was grateful for a little experience I had while I was standing in the make-up line before the broadcast started. The individuals both in front of me and behind me were both "new" to the Choir (meaning they had made it into the choir in 2020) and it was fun to get to know them a little bit and hear about their excitement to sing on their very first Music & the Spoken Word broadcast. It brought back a few memories...

With this broadcast behind us, the Choir train has entered familiar territory again. While the journey it took us all on during the past 20 months was a strange one invoking emotions all across the spectrum, I'm glad the scenery, the train's speed, and the terrain are all back to "normal". 

Well, almost. (as soon we ditch the covid protocols, THEN we'll be back to normal)

Until next time, God be with you.

 

 

TCATS #405 - In Full Swing

The Tabernacle Choir is certainly back in full swing! Next Sunday will be our first Music & the Spoken Word live broadcast (since for forever ago) and we spent time this week not only working on memorizing music for THAT, but also music for the next broadcast to air in two weeks. With several brand new songs, some swanky new arrangements, and some traditional fan favorites, the next couple of broadcasts will surely not disappoint!  And if working on those upcoming broadcasts wasn't enough, we spent about 50 minutes today recording a track that will be part of an overall soundtrack for an upcoming film about Christ.

All in all, a full morning.

In working on memorizing some of the songs this past week, there were several sets of lyrics that stood out to me. But there's one in particular I'd like to comment on. 

"We thank thee Lord for this new day.
For night wherein we found thy way."

When I first sang this phrase, I was a bit mystified as to why someone would find their way in the night. Shouldn't we find our way in the light? We're always talking about the "light of Christ" or equating truth with light and I wasn't quite sure what to think about this reference to night, instead. But then the light went on (ha!) and I realized that actually, it's usually during our dark times (or times of "night") that we come to recognize our need for the light. It's at those times we have the opportunity to reach out and take Christ's hand--since He's always reaching out to take ours. And little by little, we find our way back. Back to not only where we were before, but to a place that's actually a little bit better. The best thing during those experiences is how bright and peaceful and clarifying the light can be. 

Now...a few odds and ends:

*the Choir's party committee (yes, we have one of those) announced today that there would not be, for the 2nd year in a row, a Christmas party that we traditionally have after the Christmas Concert.

*the seating managers for the Choir (choosing who sits where and next to who), David and Deb Gehris, were released from their callings today, and were replaced by former Choir member Randy Jensen and his wife. This was quite a significant change since the Gehris' have been in the calling for many years now. Thanks to them for all of their years of service.

*the Choir plans to start using the teleprompter more. Like, for every broadcast. One might think this is sort of "cheating" (if I was not in the Choir, I'd be tempted to think that!). But here's the thing. Up until now, most of our broadcasts have been a combination of singing one or two memorized songs, with the rest just singing from the actual sheet music. For those non-memorized songs, choir members would constantly be looking down at their music and then up at the director--which means that for much of the time, those watching the broadcast wouldn't be able to see into the eyes of the singers as much. Mack is really adamant that we start having choir members get more eye-to-eye time on camera. He feels (as do many choir members, I'd think) that seeing into people's eyes is an important part of communicating the message we're singing about. So... one way to accomplish that is through a teleprompter. So it's really a win-win (and a step-up). And keep in mind that just because the teleprompter gives us the words, we still have to have the music near-memorized both in rhythm and in notes. So in the process of doing that, we almost get the words anyway. The prompter just gives us that occasional word or two that might slip our minds. 

With all of that said, my friends, it's a wrap for the blog today. As Mack said this morning, the best times of the Choir are ahead of us. And I'm glad YOU are taking that journey forward, with us, as supporting listeners. 

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #404 - A Play-by-Play

My alarm went off at 5:30am and I groggily shaved, showered, dressed, and had some breakfast. I then said a quick prayer after which I made sure I had everything I needed: my security badge, my name badge, my folder of music, keys, wallet, a water bottle, and today, my laptop--since my job required me to be on-call today to handle any customer escalations that may happen. 

Into the car and out onto main street to drive into the Conference Center. Suddenly I remember something i forgot--a mask! Back to the house, grabbed my favorite accessory, got back into the car and continued my journey. I thought about listening to some music on the way in, but didn't know exactly what to listen to, so I decided to just enjoy the silence and pondered on what today's experience would bring. 

Arrived at the Conference Center at 6:40, got out of my car, and met Ben who was just getting out of his. We greeted each other and walked towards the designated entrance. On the way, we met Wes and we chatted a bit about a few things going on in our lives before we had to split up and go to our individual designated covid testing station. 

I grabbed a number--24--and found a seat to sit in which was socially distanced from others. While waiting for them to all my number, my friend Greg sat a couple seats next to me and we had a good discussion about the topic of being a parent and how God loves our children infinitely more than we love them. And because He loves them so much, He will thus take care of them in conjunction with our own efforts. 

My number was called and I sat in the designated seat, pulled down my mask, and let one of our in-house resident medical professional administer the covid test by swabbing both nostrils. I got up, found my previous seat, and waited for the test results.

After about 15 min, I received my colored sticker (today's color was orange) and attached it to my name tag so I could be easily identified as covid-negative. Gathered up my things and made my way to the "bunker" where we sometimes congregate before performances and where the men now have their dressing room. Today there was no need to get into choir attire as we were only rehearsing, but I needed to get refitted for my black suit and the wardrobe committee was making themselves available before and after rehearsal for that purpose. So since there was still 20 min before rehearsal started, I thought I'd take advantage and get the refitting done. As it turned out, there were no more pants in my size to exchange with, so I took the nearest size available and when the time came, I would just use my belt to make up the difference. 

After using the restroom, I made my way to the loft where I found my seat next to Steve and and Brad. And about three minutes after that, the rehearsal started and we removed our masks to warm-up. Warm-ups were followed by putting the mask back on while we listened to announcements and had an opening prayer. This past Thursday was the first rehearsal with all of us being together again (no more empty seats between us). And today continued that format.

Removing the masks again, we began rehearsal. The songs we practiced today were ones that we'll be singing on our upcoming "debut" Music & the Spoken Word performance (Oct 24th) and on future performances as well. The collection of songs contained a couple that were familiar, but most were either brand new (Mack and Ryan had recently composed/arranged them) or ones that we just hadn't sung in many years. We were encouraged to "memorize as we go" since our first MSW performance will feature songs that are completely memorized. I enjoyed rehearsing and enjoyed thinking about the lyrics and their meaning to me. There were plenty of times I got really tired and wished that our directors would have had us stand more. But through some will power and taking drinks of water, I was able to shake off the sleepies and focus at the task at hand. And as an added incentive to stay alert, I knew it was possible my phone would start to buzz at any moment and I'd have to leave the loft to handle a client escalation.

10:00am arrived and rehearsal concluded. With masks back on now, we made our way out of the loft and into the bunker and then out to the parking lot. It felt good to get up and walk. And as I got in my car and drove away from the Conference Center, not having really said goodbye to anyone or given my fellow choir friends farewell hugs (as used to be the case), I pondered, again, how different the Choir experience had become. 

And yet, there were some things that were the same. 

I tried to focus on those things and be grateful for them. 

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #403 - My Two Bits on Conference

In my post last week, I mentioned how difficult things have been in returning to Choir. Mainly because the return was not at all what I had envisioned the return to be. The covid protocols have added, for me, a sense of isolation and oppressiveness to the experience. And while I know the Church has put all of these measures in place for safety purposes (and to emphasize to the public that we're taking every possible precaution), there are just a few things that logically don't make sense in my brain and continue to weigh on me. Just one example: one would think that if a person is vaccinated AND has just barely had a negative covid test minutes/hours before, that he/she wouldn't have to wear a mask around other people who are also vaccinated and just had a negative covid test.  Right? And if we're singing without the mask (which is the time when we're breathing the hardest and spewing saliva particles to those around us), why would wearing the mask when we're just sitting there (and not breathing hard or spewing particles) be necessary?

But, I digress. I don't want this to be about covid. Because today I really tried hard to put all that aside and focus on other things. Which, by the way, made all the difference.

What "other things" you ask?

Well, for starters, I started talking to people despite the distancing and despite the masking. And it was good to talk to people. I've missed it. The last couple of rehearsals we've had, I pretty much kept to myself. But that made the isolation imposed by the mandated distancing and masks even worse. So today, I tried to smile at people with my eyes and at the very least, greet them with a "hello" or a "good to see you!" I had some good full on conversations with people during the breaks and during lunch, too. Part of the Choir experience I know and love is the social component. And if you take that away--that human connection we all need--the experience is severely degraded.

Another thing was focusing on the music itself of course. Soooo many words to get right today! My synaptic pathways in my brain were doing their best to recall what I had spent hours both in rehearsals and at home memorizing. I thought of the meaning of the words, too. Which is always important. If I think about them and internalize them, then when I sing them, I feel that internalization process somehow adds to the music and allows it to work its magic in people who are listening.

Yet another thing was focusing on the talks that were being given. That was a hit and miss experience. But there were some talks that truly spoke to my heart, and I appreciate the opportunity I had to feel the Spirit and subsequently have a desire to be a little bit better in various aspects of my life. 

The last thing I felt made a difference was looking ahead. I don't know how long these covid protocols will be a part of our choir experience. But I cannot see them lasting forever. And looking forward to that day when we can just all come and do what we did before (and how we did it before) is something to happily anticipate. Don't get me wrong though. Although that day will come, we will never go back to how things exactly were before. That's because we've all changed. We appreciate things more. We've all had experiences these past 19 months that have shaped our beliefs, our perceptions, and our overall dedication. 

But leaving behind the distancing, the masks, and the covid testing? Yeah, I definitely will not miss those things when they're gone. 

Anyway. Overall the experience today was not great. But it was good. It was in the right direction.
Better than I thought it would be.
So I'll take it.

One last thing. 

My heart goes out to those members of the Church who are deeply struggling with how the Church's leadership has handled the pandemic. Those struggles were not addressed specifically today in Conference and I know that was a disappointment to them. Hopefully the answers they seek and the peace they are desperately trying to find will come to them.

Until next time, God be with you.

PS: rehearsals with the entire Choir start up this coming Thursday and Music & the Spoken Word broadcasts will start up again very soon.

TCATS #402 - 555 (Singing Again)

555 refers to the number of days that the Tabernacle Choir has been in "pause" mode. But that pause came to an end this past Thursday night (and this morning) as the Sunday Conference session group came together to make music once more (the Saturday session group met on Tuesday). 

I'm not exactly sure what to say about it all. And I've kind of been dreading this moment of trying to document my emotions and feelings. So I ask for your patience as I work through this post.

Perhaps it would be best to first focus on what I was grateful for within this "return" experience.

I was grateful to sing in a large ensemble again. Truly. There's nothing like it.

I was grateful to be directed by Mack and Ryan again. I've missed them. 

I was grateful, once seated in the choir seats with our masks off, to look around and see people's faces. It was almost like we had never had the pandemic pause at all. But looking more intently, it was evident that time really had passed and people had changed. Their eyes seemed to tell their story.

I was grateful for the music memorizing I've been working hard on. That preparation paid off during the rehearsal. 

And I was grateful to have walked into the Conference Center with my friend Ryan B. who will be retiring just as soon as the Choir leadership gets that scheduled. I'll miss him. Glad he gets one more Conference to sing at.

As I've tried to put my finger on exactly what was hard about going back, I don't feel like I've come to any conclusions that I can fully communicate with words. It's true I didn't like wearing a KN95 mask and I didn't like getting a covid test (or waiting in anticipation for the results) and I didn't like all of the distancing. But beyond that, I think the pandemic has encased my heart with layers of bitterness. Bitterness caused by shutdowns, life modifications, disappointments, inconveniences, and so many questions with no clear answers. So, with anything that has layers, my bitterness ones will take some time to unpeel. 

I noticed one more thing, too.

A sense that I didn't belong. That I wasn't worthy to be there. Which perhaps was rooted in the never-good comparison game that my mind tried hard not to play, but did anyway. There were choir members who were totally and enthusiastically thrilled to be back, with smiles beaming on their faces, who had prayed in earnest for the return-day to come, who had fully supported the covid protocols (whatever it takes!), who had been gracious and kind-hearted towards those making decisions, and who had personally prepared spiritually. 

And then there was me. Who belonged in some other struggling, broken camp.

I don't know. I'm all jumbled up. Maybe what my heart is saying right now is found in one of the pieces we're performing. And I'll just end with those lyrics.

"Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace? When other sources cease to make me whole? When with a wounded heart, anger or malice; I draw myself apart searching my soul."

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #401 - Winding the Clock

Wind-up clocks, just like wind-up music boxes or toys, have the potential to be wound too much. There's this sometimes hard to figure out "sweet spot" of winding just enough so that the device runs at peak efficiency, but not over-winding it--which can lead to device failure (and it needing repair). Most people who observe a wind-up clock might not even know it runs by someone needing to wind it. They just look at the clock and not only appreciate that it tells the time, but they expect it to tell the time and to tell it accurately.

I feel sort of like a wind-up clock. 

I feel like all of these covid protocols that I'll be complying with first-hand this coming Thursday night for my first rehearsal will either be just enough or they'll be too much. 

I think there comes a point when restrictions and protocols make things feel so "tight" that you can no longer enjoy what you hope to enjoy or feel what you hope to feel. And just like there are different winding mechanisms, each with different winding limitations, so each person has different levels of emotional capacities and limitations in a potentially over-wound environment. 

I don't know how Thursday night will go. I've envisioned how it will mechanically go, but I don't know how it will emotionally go. But, I've committed to singing in the upcoming General Conference (Sunday session) and will do my best to memorize the music, to pray for a good experience, and to follow the seven-layer covid protocol (which was actually officially released to the public to know about). If after doing that though, I've discovered that the Tabernacle Choir singing experience is not what I personally need it to be in my life right now, then I'll likely apply for an official excused leave until society has learned to live with Covid--just like it lives with other viruses, illnesses, and health-impacting risks. 

That all said, I will hope for the best and will go into this experience with an optimistic attitude. The part I need to play right now is to memorize. So just as I've been doing that this past week, I will continue to do it from now until October 3rd.  

After that?

I will analyze how it went, how I felt, and if I was able to effectively contribute legitimate and authentic hope and peace while I sang. 

If I wasn't able to do THAT, then I'll need to initiate a self-imposed pause until such time as I can contribute again in meaningful and expected ways.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #400 - Processing the Protcols

I'm hesitant to write this post because of the internal conflict going on within me. 

I feel like I'm probably the only one in the Choir who feels the way I feel. If there are others, I don't know who they are. But I can understand why they wouldn't make themselves known.

We had a meeting on Thursday in which the Choir Presidency, along with health care professionals within the Choir organization, the Choir directors, and other staff members, laid out a plan. The plan included several procedures we'd all need to follow if we wanted to sing in the Choir again. 

The Plan included the following seven layers:

1. Vaccination - uploading a digital copy of our covid vaccination card to the Choir admin team to prove that we are vaccinated.

2. Screening - examining our personal health and if we or any of our family members are immunocompromised, refraining from participating in the choir at this time.

3. Testing - arriving at every rehearsal or performance an hour early to undergo a rapid covid test. If we pass the test, we can sing. If not, we'll be excused.

4. Social Distancing - sitting one seat apart each from each other when we sing and keeping our distance from other choir members at other appropriate times.

5. Face Coverings - when not actively singing, wearing a K95 mask at all times after entering the Conference Center/Tabernacle. 

6. Self-Reporting - staying home if we're not feeling well, or staying home if anyone else in our household isn't feeling well.

7. Ventilation - singing in the Conference Center instead of the Tabernacle since the former has the better air flow/circulation system.

Overall, we were asked to be patient, to go forward with faith, to follow this plan with exactness, and to be prepared for future "pauses" if this plan needs adjusting. 

There was also a Q&A session to answer the multiple questions coming through on the chat section of the Zoom meeting. Only about four questions were answered (out of maybe 20 or so?) but we'll be getting a Q&A document that will cover all the questions asked. Some questions included asking about T-Cell tests (to take the place of the vaccination requirement), details on how the testing would work, protocols for carpooling, what to do if arriving late, etc. 

After the meeting, as I sat there in sort of a numb daze, I yearned to be one of those people who seemed to be completely on-board with the plan and ready to make whatever sacrifice was necessary to get back to singing. But I just kept thinking "really? is this all really necessary?" 

I longed to have a warn fuzzy feeling inside testifying that it was all as it should be. 

But whether I get that feeling or not, the part of me that desires to sing again will have to be enough to propel me forward. I just hope that in time, instead of merely complying, I'll comply with faith. 

So here's to hoping.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #399 - Together, Not Apart

I started watching a Hulu mini-series that came out recently titled "9/11: One Day in America". The official description of the series reads as follows: "One Day in America tells the in-depth story of September 11th through the eyes of the witnesses, heroes and survivors. Made in collaboration with the 9/11 Memorial & Museum to mark the 20th anniversary, this major new series charts the tragic day in unprecedented detail – from the first plane hitting the north tower to the last survivors being rescued from the rubble."

Even after I started watching it though, part of me didn't want to continue watching it. Several parts of even the first episode caused many emotions to well up within me and tears to spring to my eyes. While I didn't lose anyone I personally knew that day, I lost fellow American brothers and sisters whose lives had meaning. And it was terribly sad to re-live that reality all over again--now nearly 20 years later. 

Of course the good that came from that tragedy was a greater feeling of unity. It was as if the title of our country--the UNITED States of America--actually reflected how we as American felt towards one another. I remember distinctly feeling that way and hearing from family members and friends that they felt that way too. 

It was with some interest, then, that I read a USA Today article titled "9/11 brought a sense of national unity. Why has the pandemic been marred by division?" The article starts off by saying "Bad times bring out the best in people. It must be true. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a cliché.  On the other hand, maybe clichés, like doctors, should be re-certified every once in a while. Does flattery really get you nowhere? Have good things ever come to those who wait?  Do bad times really make us better people? The 20th anniversary of 9/11 – occurring in the 18th month of the COVID-19 pandemic – offers a reality check. Also, a sobering study in contrasts.  Because if 9/11 brought us together, COVID seems to be tearing us apart."

In response to that "tearing us apart" reality check, the Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square will be airing a special Music & the Spoken Word episode titled "9/11: Coming Together". I don't think the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who sponsors the Choir, is thinking that just by airing this special there will be some massive movement to abandon division and adopt unity. Rather, I think the title is inviting all of us to "celebrate compassion, caring, and unity" and to "remind us of the goodness that connects all of us and of what happens when we reach out to help each other." (See official program description, HERE and trailer HERE)

I invite you all to watch the special (which actually airs at 8:46AM on 9/11; and again on Sunday, 9/12 at 9:30AM) and to ask yourself "what more can I do to show love and promote unity?" Perhaps as you listen to the music and hear the words in this program, you might feel inspired as to how best to answer that question.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #398 - Together Again + New Start Date

I rode into the Tabernacle with my carpool buddies on Thursday night and as we actually walked onto Temple Square, there was a large number of choir members just standing around talking to one another instead of heading towards the doors to go in. At first I thought that maybe they hadn't opened the doors yet, but then I realized that many just wanted to relish in the opportunity to socialize! After all, it had been over 18 months since we had seen each other and I think we all just wanted to soak it in. After catching up with people and giving lots of hugs, we put on our masks, went inside, and sat on the benches (socially distanced of course). I sat next to my friends Wes and Ryan. 

The meeting consisted of several individuals sharing their thoughts and testimonies. We heard from Bishop Caussé of course, who was presiding, and we heard from outgoing President Ron Jarrett and his wife, and then heard from the incoming presidency, including new President Leavitt and his wife, along with the two newly called counselors. Having an actual presidency, similar to presidencies in other church organizations, is new to the Tabernacle Choir. But it makes sense to follow the same pattern. Plus, I'm sure the whole Tabernacle Choir organization will benefit from having a full presidency since there's always a lot going on in the background to make things operate smoothly. 

You can read about (and watch excerpts of) the meeting HERE and HERE, if you're interested.

I think my favorite part was just being able to sing together. Yes, we were masked. And no, we weren't in the loft as usual.  But it was still nice to sing an opening hymn ("Called to Serve") and closing hymn ("God Be With You 'Till We Meet Again) and hear each others' voices again. 

The current plan is to start rehearsals on 9/21. And whirlwind rehearsals they will be as we will only have a couple of weeks to prepare all of the music for upcoming General Conference. The way THAT is working, is they are dividing the choir in half for any given session. That way, we can sit every other seat and try and maintain some distancing. We have yet to be told which session each of us will be singing in. But that should be forthcoming, soon I'd think.

After the conclusion of the meeting, we picked up some additional music from our music lockers and headed for home. Despite the disappointment of not having the night be what we had all hoped it would be (a return to singing), I can't deny that it was nice to be all together again. And barring any significant changes in covid, we're less than a month away from actually being able to sing.

In the words of President Leavitt:  "We need to resume performances. For nearly a year and a half, COVID-19 and its variants have interrupted our progress. Well, the time has come for us to reboot our work."

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #397 - Yes, Another Delay

With only a week to go before finally returning to the Tabernacle to sing again, members of the Tabernacle Choir were essentially given a "just kidding!" notice on Friday. It came as no surprise. I had heard earlier in the week that the multicultural choir that was going to sing at one of the October 2021 sessions of conference was essentially cut in half to allow for increased social distancing while singing. And from a common sense perspective, how would it look if the Choir resumed normal practices and performances when the First Presidency has been urging masks and distancing again? That wouldn't fly. 

Still, even with anticipating another delay, it was sad to hear. 

All of the details regarding the delay can be found HERE. I just have a few things I wanted to comment on.

First, the Choir IS returning to the Tabernacle this coming Thursday not to sing, but to attend a mini-devotional to honor the outgoing Choir President (Pres. Jarrett) and to officially welcome Bro. and Sis. Leavitt as the new presidents. I have mixed feelings about attending. Mainly because our return to the Tabernacle was supposed to be to sing and resume our musical missionary callings. Now we'll be going back for a different reason, and we won't even get to be physically close to each other or see each other's faces.  That said, I'm still planning to go--mainly so that I can sincerely show my thanks to President Jarrett and all he did for the Choir during his tenure. 

Second, I have some deep concerns about how things will look when we DO go back to sing, after reading this:

"During the delay in the resumption of rehearsals, Choir leadership in consultation with a distinguished team of scientists, physicians, and public health experts will be completing a detailed set of policies and operating procedures. This Choir COVID Plan is designed to make rehearsing and performing as safe as reasonably possible while pandemic conditions continue. Choir leaders anticipate that online training in Choir COVID Plan procedures will be conducted in early to mid-September with the implementation of these procedures shortly thereafter to permit resumption of rehearsals for planned Choir participation in the Church’s October general conference."

Will we need to distance and wear masks when rehearsing?
Will we be split into smaller groups?
Will we have staggered starts and stops to avoid crowding the hallways and dressing rooms?
Most importantly, will the Choir experience still be familiar enough from a physical, social, and spiritual connected-ness standpoint that my love of being a part of it, prevails?
 

Giving credit where credit is due, I AM thankful that at least the Church is coming up with a plan to get the Choir back together. Because in all reality, it's likely that another covid variant is just around the corner. And the sooner society (and the Church) just learns to live with covid (like we live with other viruses and health threats), the sooner we can start to truly live again without this emotional yo-yo or roller-coaster of delays, false starts, intrusive adjustments, and unmet expectations.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #396 - Potential Delay?

As probably most of you are aware, the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued a statement on Thursday this past week. The statement called on members of the Church to do "all [they] can to limit the spread of [Covid-19] viruses." The statement also included the following:

"To limit exposure to these viruses, we urge the use of face masks in public meetings whenever social distancing is not possible. To provide personal protection from such severe infections, we urge individuals to be vaccinated. Available vaccines have proven to be both safe and effective."

As I thought about how this would affect the Choir's return on August 26th, I came to the conclusion that as Choir members, we'd just have to be prepared for another potential delay. Part of me thinks "how would a world-wide audience after hearing that statement, view the Choir if the Choir was not seen social distancing or wearing masks? Even if they somehow knew we were all vaccinated, would they still consider our long-awaited reunification as unwise?"  

Personal thoughts aside, the newsletter we all received on Friday indicated that we are officially in wait mode as we anticipate whether the First Presidency will once again approve or temporarily deny our plan to return. 

I'm not here to debate the many, many opinions that exist on what can or can't, or should or shouldn't happen when it comes to vaccinated people and their ability to contract or transmit the virus. But in my own opinion (which is at least backed up by some studies I've read), I think any safety risks would be extremely minimal if all members of the Choir were vaccinated. And, indeed, only those fully vaccinated are going to be rehearsing and performing in the weeks ahead. (Those who are not will be invited to participated at a future period in time.)

My own opinion counts for nothing, however, when it comes to how the official decision will be made. Since we're only 11 days away from our first rehearsal, I think we're all hoping to hear what gets decided, sooner than later. Maybe some time this week?

In conclusion, I thought about whether or not to include in this blog post some personal commentary on all of the emotions that the aforementioned First Presidency statement has caused me to feel--not only in regards to how it affects the Choir, but in other areas of my life. 

All I will say about that, though, is that it's been rough.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #395 - Welcome to the Leavitt's!

On Thursday of this past week, Choir members received an email asking them to please join an online meeting that would take place Friday morning at 10:30. There was no mention about what the meeting would be about. As such, some speculation began to be passed around as to the meeting's topic. Some  of that speculation was positive and optimistic and included things like being invited to sing at some special event, getting a preview on how the Christmas Concert would be, or having the orchestra be able to join us finally for general conference. On the negative side, many of us were dreading the news that our return to the Tabernacle would again be delayed because of Delta variant concerns. And honestly, the more I thought about it all, the more I convinced myself that such devastating news would probably be what we'd end up hearing. I became very sad. 

I logged into the meeting at 10:25 and watched a rerun of a General Conference performance as I waited.  I also began bracing myself for the announcement.

The meeting began with some opening comments from President Jarrett and a prayer. After which the time was turned over to Bishop Caussé. It didn't take too long for Bishop Caussé to let us all know that the First Presidency of the Church had extended a loving release to President Jarrett and had also extended a call to Mike and Jacalyn Leavitt to serve as co-presidents of the Choir. Additionally, for the first time, President Leavitt would have two counselors to assist him in administratively leading the Choir. 

I let out a huge sigh of relief. The date to return and sing was still in place.

Mike Leavitt

As for my thoughts on the announcement, I first thought about my interactions with President Jarrett and how positive they had always been. Having previously been a choir member himself, President Jarrett was able to lead the choir with that invaluable background and employed many other leadership skills and styles to do a remarkable job. He will be missed. I must say though, I'm extra sad that his last year in the Choir had to be devoid of the normal choir experience. 

I don't have too many thoughts/reactions about who will now be leading us. But I have no doubt the Leavitt's will do a great job. And who knows? Maybe with this change the Leavitt's will shake things up a bit--instigate some adjustments and will help lead the

Jacalyn Leavitt

Choir to new and notable accomplishments.

As a side note, I continued my memorizing efforts this past week. Out of the 20 songs on the list, I have about six left. Some of the ones I just barely memorized will need to be reviewed every few days or so, until the memorization becomes "complete". But it feels good to be making headway. And it feels good to sing these songs again. 

Lastly, I continue to pray that the surge in Delta variant cases will subside and the August 26th date of return to rehearsals, will hold. Our weekly newsletter expressed the possibility of a delay so I don't think we're out of the woods just yet. All we can do is watch and see. As can be said about anything, really, it's in God's hands. 

Until next time, God be with you.

PS: HERE'S a great article recounting some of President Jarrett's most memorable experiences during his time as President of the Choir.