TCATS #335 - It's About the Mission--Not Me

I really need to write this post--for me.
And ironically, the theme of this post is that it's really not about me. 

Over the past 80+ days, as the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square has ceased normal operations, I've been on a journey. A journey filled with the process of grieving and of trying to adjust to my new no-choir reality. And I won't lie. It's been hard. I've gone through a wide range of emotions that has included sadness, disbelief, anger, resentment, and finally, a welcome bit of humility.

As I was on yet another walk the other night, I thought about all of this and I realized some things. Most notably, that singing regularly with the Tabernacle Choir isn't as needful or important as I thought it was. And that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints can get along just fine without its choir members for months and even years to come if needed. The necessity of having a living, breathing, performing-every-week choir is actually not a necessity in the short term. 

Consider that the bread and butter of the choir is the weekly Music & Spoken Word (MSW) broadcasts. It's what we spend most of our time preparing for and most of our time performing. In fact, if there was a pie chart to look at that showed the breakdown of how the choir uses its time, MSW would easily be the largest slice of the pie. Why is this exactly? It's because MSW is the best way for us to fulfill our mission of sharing testimony and inspiring others by the truths we sing and the truths Lloyd Newell speaks. Every Sunday we are reminded how far and wide the net of this weekly broadcast is spread:  2000+ TV and radio stations. And these stations carry the program to hundreds of thousands, if not millions, across the world.

The other performances we do that fall into this bread and butter category are the songs we sing for the Church's General Conference twice a year. To say that the choir gets "the most bang for its buck" participating in these conferences is an understatement since, when it's all said and done, millions of latter-day saints throughout the world are influenced and uplifted by the music we share at conference.

It's true the Choir does lots of other things. We have our concerts and sometimes we have local events we sing at. And sometimes we even go on tour to places in the United States or to other countries around the world. But, it's my personal opinion that as great as these other things are, the live performances of these events don't have the reach that MSW and General Conference does. 

So why do I bring all of this up? It's because I realized that it doesn't take a live performance to fulfill the mission of the choir! As much as I and my fellow choir members miss choir right now, we are currently dispensable. Look at last General Conference. It featured past performances of the choir that were just as spiritually effective in promoting truth and love and encouragement as a live performance would have been. Each week at 9:30 AM MT, past performances of MSW are broadcast. And those past performances contain music and words that are just as equally effective in uplifting people's lives as the live or current performances are.

The bottom line is, with so many past performances to draw from, the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square could fulfill its mission just fine for years to come without a living, breathing, active choir. Sure, at some point, there'd come a time when that wouldn't be sustainable any more. But for years, it'd be OK. 

With this realization that we choir members aren't really needed (for a time, at least), I've come to receive that dose of humility I spoke of earlier--humility to put into perspective the accolades from family, friends, and associates about how wonderful it is that we sing in the choir and how great it is that we get to use our talents in such a grand, unique way. Such comments may lead some of us to believe that what we do is irreplaceably important. And while that's true from a general perspective, it's not true right now. And it may not be true for months and months to come. Coming to terms with this, I've also struggled with feeling entitled to get more support from the choir leadership--like regular video updates from our directors or the opportunity to participate in a virtual production or being granted access to read through more fan letters and emails (as a way to kind of boost our morale when it needs boosting the most). It's like I want the leadership to reach out to us and say, "Oh, you poor things, not being able to sing for a time! Let me do this, and this, and this for you so that you can get through this trial you're going through!" Haha. But they don't need to do that because it's not about me or the other choir members. Yes, we're important just like everyone is important in God's eyes, but what's more important? It's fulfilling the mission of the choir (even while on rerun auto-pilot)--a continuing mission to reach millions with messages of hope and love and inspiration. Especially during these difficult and volatile times.

So....it's time for me to let the choir go. It's time to be done grieving for the loss. It's time to fill the choir "hole" with other meaningful things. It's time to let the Lord show me what valuable things I can do while I wait upon Him. And it's time to really, truly be grateful that the choir is still able to fulfill its mission quite successfully even if the choir members themselves are no longer involved. 

Until next time, God be with you.