NUTS AND BOLTS: The choir met this past Tuesday evening to rehearse one last time the concert that they'll take to the various cities along the West Coast. Those of us who were not going on tour, filled in the last two rows of seats and rehearsed the songs as well, sitting most of the time, and on a few of the songs, simply observing those in front of us. Then, on Thursday, the Choir held a pre-tour concert, open to the public, in which they went through the concert from beginning to end. Again, those who weren't going sat on the balcony seats, nearest the singers, and observed. Though it became really hot since the Tabernacle was filled to capacity on a warm summer day, the concert went very well and Mack and Ryan commented later that they were pleased. With Willy to my right and Jeremy to my left (and my Aunt Winnie in the audience), we enjoyed the opportunity to listen to all the music and support our fellow choir brothers and sisters. Then, today, of course, was the broadcast, and we sang some great songs--some of which indirectly had a message about fathers, given that's it's Fathers Day.
HOW I FELT: As I've mentioned in prior posts, it's been hard to continually watch the choir make tour preparations knowing that I wouldn't be able to go with them this time. However, I've finally reached a "grateful, happy place" where I can, instead of feeling selfishly sad, wholeheartedly wish them good luck and pray for their success in fulfilling their callings as musical missionaries. With all the sights they'll see, the new and deepened friendships they'll make, and audience members they'll impact, I hope they give their best efforts to singing with the Spirit and projecting a feeling of love that comes from Jesus Christ. People desperately need to feel that, and the choir is in a unique and wonderful position to provide that, through song.
As for the broadcast today, the one song that touched me the most was Pilgrim's Song, which, actually, reminds me of my sister who passed away recently. While I'm always grateful for the time I had with her, I was happy when "the messenger [said to my sister] come quit this house of clay, and with bright angels tower." I really miss her though.
Speaking of missing people, I realized, a few days ago, that today would start a choir break that would span almost a month because of tour and because of personal family vacations. So, I was a bit sad to say goodbye to my carpool group and other choir friends knowing how long it would be before I could say hello again. I'll miss them, and miss singing next to them.
COMING UP: Normal choir happenings will resume on July 5th with rehearsal that night, followed by Music and the Spoken Word on the 8th. Then the choir will start rehearsing for the Pioneer Day concert which will be held the third weekend in July. More details HERE.
Happy Father's Day to all those fathers out there, and particularly to those who wish they could be fathers but have never, as of yet, had the opportunity. My hope is that they get that opportunity, either later in this life, or certainly in the next.
Until next time (July 15th!!), God be with you.
While rehearsing Thursday night, I occasionally diverted by attention to the various people coming in to Tabernacle--as I normally do. Around 8pm or so, I noticed a small family of four make their way to the balcony and find some seats. I don't know why they stood out to me because they weren't all that different from others who had filled the hall. For some reason though, I felt like I needed to keep tabs on them.
Awhile later, we began to rehearse one of my all-time favorite pieces, Psalm 148. As I've probably mentioned before, I love everything about this song. The lyrics, the orchestration, the phrasing, the melody, the harmonies--everything. And it concludes with one of the most heavenly chords I've ever heard! The choir holds out that chord at the end as the orchestration and organ cuts out--so that when we finally are given the signal to end, the sound just reverbs throughout the Tabernacle like some angelic chorus. (YouTube doesn't do it justice, but you can listen to the last 30 seconds here)
Anyway, whenever we sing this song for rehearsal, I just want to grab a microphone and tell all of our visitors that they need to endure our starting and stopping and note/pitch fixing so that they can finally hear us sing it from beginning to end (after rehearsing each song, we "tape and time" it--or rather, record it to CD--so that the directors can listen to it later and give us feedback). And Thursday night, while I still had the desire to pick up that microphone, I especially was wanting that family of four to stay. I don't know if they needed to hear it for a particular reason or if it was just me being crazy (probably the latter). All I know is that I was going to be really sad if they didn't just push through to the end--the end being the prize of listening to Psalm 148 in its entirety.
But stay they did! And as I sang the song, I kept stealing a glance at them and directing my conviction of the song's message, to them. Upon singing that last heavenly chord of notes, they were one of the first ones to start clapping--which led to a big smile appearing on my face.
I suppose all of this can be likened to life (most of music can). If we work through the hard times and try and improve and listen to our heavenly director, we can, in the end, partake of those "payoff" moments in life--and ultimately partake of the eternal prize as well.
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So, this week, the Choir will present it's free pre-tour Concert at 7:30 pm in the Tabernacle. It's a first-come, first-seated event which is sure to "sell-out". Those going on tour will commence that event on June 19th, while those of us who are not going will enjoy at 2 1/2 week break. After the tour concludes, the Pioneer Day Concert (a.k.a "Music for a Summer Evening") will be held in the Conference Center on July 20th and 21st, featuring three amazing guests—Matthew Morrison, Laura Michelle Kelly, and Oscar “Andy” Hammerstein the 3rd.
Until next time, God be with you.
Sweet #1: Singing the songs on the broadcast today. They were all ones I personally loved, particularly "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." I know that song has received a lot of attention over the years and is beloved by almost everyone I know (5.3 million views on YouTube). But every time I sing it--especially the last verse--my emotions just go berserk and my deepest desire to do God's will is overwhelmingly reaffirmed.
Sweet #2: Watching the "Be One" program over the weekend and not only being thankful for the program's overall message, but seeing some of my fellow Mormon Tabernacle Choir brothers and sisters participate. From talking to some of them, rehearsals for that program were very long and frequent. But they thoroughly enjoyed the end result of being able to sing along side those of other choirs and faiths at the direction of Gladys Knight. (As a side note, I have to say how cool it would be if the MoTab could sing with those robes--just once!)
Sweet #3: Being able to provide encouragement and praise to the new choir members lately. I've had quite a bit of interaction with them and while they appreciate the help, I really appreciate being able to see things from their point of view and being able to feed off of their fresh desire to do their very best at every rehearsal and performance.
Bitter: I normally don't focus on the difficult parts of being a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I like to keep things positive and inspiring, and like to focus on my true gratitude for this incredible opportunity. So forgive me.
As you know, the Choir goes on tour every other year and most choir members are very excited to go. I've gone on the last two--one to the East Coast and one to Europe. My favorite part of tours are the concerts themselves. Everything is memorized, usually nothing is filmed, and this allows us to concentrate on the lyrics and projecting the spirit of the music in a unique way. I absolutely love it.
This year, the Choir is headed to the West Coast and we've been having a lot of extra rehearsals to get ready for the event. As I prayed about whether or not I should go on tour this year, I received the answer that I needed to stay home. There are several reasons I could think of that would support this heaven-sent answer, and there are probably several reasons I don't know about yet. One of the biggest reasons is that this is the last summer with my son Josh before he heads off to college and then a mission, and we've planned a family vacation that will take a lot of my employer-allotted vacation days. Adding 12 more time off days to go on tour just wouldn't be feasible.
At any rate, while I know it's the right thing, I still can't help but feel sad at not being able to go. Really sad. Lately, at these extra rehearsals, often only those going on tour will be asked to stand and sing. Which makes me not even want to be there. (I realize the logical reasons for our director to just want to hear the tour people sing, but logic doesn't always help control emotions) I see people pouring over their travel itineraries, I hear them talk about packing and sight-seeing, I see roommates taking time to plan and get excited together, and I glance through large sections of our weekly newsletter talking about tour, only to have it pounded in that such things don't apply to me. And next week, I'll have to attend the pre-tour concert, only to have my memories take me back to deep and sacred moments (and fun ones, too) of singing that same concert repertoire during my times on tour. Add to that the social media chatter that some people in choir aren't going, on purpose, because they just don't want to--well, it makes me upset. And it makes me more upset when I get the feeling that some are putting me into THAT camp--though nothing could be further from the truth.
"You're being a little dramatic Ryan, aren't you?"
"It's not THAT big of deal, is it?"
"You can look forward to the next one, right?"
"You get two weeks off of choir--wont' that be great?"
Well, OK...thanks.
Life goes on, and I certainly am looking forward to spending time with my family. Of course I love doing that! But will I still miss tour? Absolutely. At least now I'll be able to empathize with others who aren't going for reasons similar to mine, both now, and in the future. And showing empathy to people is a way to lift their burdens--something that brings me joy. So there's that.
I think I'm done.
Thanks for listening.
Until next time, God be with you.
