TCATS #415 - Returning, Take 2

I had a few thoughts I wanted to share with all of you with as much honesty and transparency as I can muster. 

First, we're headed back this coming Thursday, March 3rd, to start rehearsing again. We'll also be resuming our weekly Sunday program Music & the Spoken Word and will be preparing for our Church's General Conference to commence the first week of April. While I always enjoy the opportunity to sing, returning to sing with the Tabernacle Choir has been quite an arduous decision for me. 

It's been no secret that all of the Covid protocols we've had to follow in order to start singing again have taken their toll on me emotionally. Many of those protocols are ones that I haven't personally agreed with and there have been some that have put me into a bubbling lava pool of cognitive dissonance. As much as I've tried to focus on the music itself and sharing my testimony through song, my mind has had a hard time finding that focus--let alone maintaining it. I've really really tried. But it just hasn't worked very well. 

When the Choir presidency announced a few weeks ago that we'd have to receive the Covid booster shot to come back and start singing again, I was really upset. For two main reasons. One, when my wife got her booster shot several months ago, it caused several side-effects that were very concerning. Heart palpitations, panic attacks, internal vibrations, and depression, to name the main ones. Doctors we saw didn't have any explanations and worse, didn't know how to best treat any of the symptoms she was experiencing. Fortunately her health has improved as of late and she's done a really great job of learning how to manage the symptoms that persist. But as you can probably imagine, after seeing all of this and going through these trials with my wife, I of myself was not anxious to get the booster in the least! Second, I truly felt in my heart of hearts that I did not NEED the booster. And for a Church that strongly believes in agency, I felt a bit like I was being held hostage, with coercion being the game I did not want to play. 

After some long wrestles with God, after talking in-depth with my wife, after spending a few hours walking around the temple, after weighing pros and cons, and after trying my best to clear my mind and heart and "hear HIM", I came to the conclusion that I should proceed with getting the booster--that God still wanted me in the Choir for some reason and He'd offer the help I needed. 

So, I followed that conclusion with its accompanying assurances and tried not to look back.

Some days I do better at that than others.

At any rate, I'm going to try and ignore the feelings I get from the excessive testing, wearing the (IMO) unnecessary masks, and following the counsel to distance, and again work hard to just focus on the music itself. If somebody out there needs to hear my testimony of Christ through music, then I want to be there for that person. And perhaps if I try and envision that person out there, somewhere, who will resonate uniquely with my personality, my strengths, my weaknesses, my beliefs, my challenges, my fears--everything that makes me, me, then maybe I can be more successful in blocking out the disappointment, the confusion, and the dissonance. 

Hopefully.

That all said, and switching topics, the other Choir news as of late came by way of some new initiatives the Choir presidency announced--and which I'm sure you've all read about. While I'm conceptually grateful for what changes these initiatives will bring (particularly the global/diversity focus), I don't have much more to say on them because no real details have been announced. In other words, for now we'll continue doing what we've always done and as the months go by, actual changes in what we do or how we do it, will be implemented (with commentary on them provided by yours truly). 

Sigh.

OK. I think that's all I have for you today. Take good care of yourselves and take good care of each other. And until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #414 - Status

It's been awhile since I've reported on the "journey behind the notes" of my Tabernacle Choir experience so I thought I'd just provide a short update.

While the original plan back in December was to resume normal Choir operations the first week of January, the Choir leadership thought it best to go back into hiding while the Omicron surge took the media headlines by storm. The current plan, which aligns with mainstream predictions by even Dr. Fauci himself,  is to wait for that surge's case count to peak and then drop off (mid to late Feb) before returning to sing. At this point in time, the date pinned to that return is March 10th.

Between now and then, an "All-Hands" virtual meeting is set to commence on Feb 17th. As for the content of that meeting, all I know is that the choir presidency will discuss an "exciting set of
objectives to guide our path into the future."

Also of note, the presidency is now mandating that we all get the covid booster or we will not be able to participate. (I will comment on that in the near future)

And that, my friends, is where things are at. 

In the meantime, you can continue watching re-runs of Music & the Spoken Word and hope that the March 10th return-date actually happens. 

And hope that another variant doesn't come along.

Oh wait, another one has come along. BA.2.  And even BA.3. 

Perhaps March 10th is a little optimistic.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #413 - Christmas Concert 2021

This past week was the busiest week of the year for the Choir. Minus Monday night, all the other nights (+ Sunday morning) was spent at the Conference Center prepping for and performing the 2021 Christmas Concert. 

While the whole "choir experience" is still difficult for me right now, I did want to list off ten grateful blessings I was a recipient of this past week. These will be given in no particular order.

10. I was grateful to have had zero traffic issues commuting into the Conference Center. Tuesday night's snow storm was really stressful to travel home in, but aside from that, things were good.

9. I was grateful to witness the legions of people sacrificing so much time and effort to make this concert a reality. It's always so amazing to me how many people it takes and how most of those people do their tasks with a smile. From the filming crew, to the teleprompter guy, to the cafeteria staff, to the make-up team, to the musicians , to the security staff, and 100s of others, thank you.

8. I was grateful to spend time with choir members during breaks and other "down" moments. We normally get so little time to do that (particularly with the covid protocols) that it's refreshingly nice when we do.

7. I was grateful to hear about friends and family who came to the concerts and their positive reactions. Some shared on the choir's FB account how various songs/experiences seemed to be custom-made just for their loved ones who really needed to feel the spirit of Christ in their lives at this particular time. 

6. I was grateful that the Choir got to sing "Jesus, Jesus, Rest Your Head". I enjoyed other songs we sang, too, but this one was my favorite. The choir rarely does anything acapella and not only was this one sung acapella, but it was sung while we were closer together--sort of in a huddle of sorts. It all produced a special feeling.

5. I was grateful that the two special guests were given the opportunity to talk with the choir and tell us all more about them and their beliefs and how much they loved the opportunity they were given to participate with the choir. Both Megan and Neal are devout Christians (despite Neal always playing the "bad guy" on TV and in movies) and their faith/beliefs are a major part of their lives. They are very family oriented and seem to have their priorities straight. 

4. I was grateful that during that session, Neal suggested we pray. So we all stood and prayed Irish Catholic style. It's very meaningful to be part of faith-bridging and to know we're all brothers and sisters. 

3. I was grateful to watch Ryan Murphy direct the few numbers he did. He was all smiles and I could tell hew was really enjoying every moment.

2. I was grateful to witness Megan trying to fix just a few notes she was trying to sing perfectly during our recording session. She accepted the constructive criticism Mack and Ryan gave her with grace and appreciation. It gave credit to the statement she made later during the "sharing session" (#5 above) when she said that one of the things she strives for in the entertainment business she's in, is to find people who are not only supportive of her and her talents when things are going well, but to find people that are still supportive when she fails.

1. I was grateful to Rick Elliott who spotted me walking a few steps behind him (as we were headed to one of our rehearsals) and took the time to ask how I was and how I was faring during this busy week. He didn't have to do that. But it showed me that even one of the most talented organists in the world humbly seeks out the one to minister to.

Hope you all have a very merry Christmas. The choir doesn't resume operations until January 6th, so I'll "talk" to you all then.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #412 - Sunday in Pics

Things went pretty much like clockwork this week as we met Tuesday, Thursday, and then today (Sunday) to prepare for this week's Music & the Spoken Word (MSW), the First Presidency Christmas devotional, and our Christmas Concert on Dec 16, 17, and 18. All of these events are still closed to the general public. They are letting family members attend the weekly MSW broadcasts, as well as friends who are not of our faith, but only 100 individuals per week. And they have to be vaccinated (which I won't comment on, though it's tempting).

I thought it might be at least somewhat interesting for you to see some pics of my choir journey today--just to do something different for this blog. So without any formal introduction to these pics, here we go...

(Double-click to enlarge)

Waiting to turn left into the Conference Center parking lot

Down a corridor towards the test center

A make-shift covid testing center with ten stations

Getting issued my test

Tests waiting for the results to appear

My test station

Waiting to get through security

My wardrobe changing station (B108)

What the changing station looks like

The section that contains all of my suits & ties

Headed out to the choir seats

Conference Center view from the far right.

How things look from where I sit

The songs we performed today

If you look carefully, you can see the various teleprompters

Sorting music in the library after the performance was over. Siope and I gather music from B-56 through B-110

Another view of the music sorting process

There you have it. 

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #411 - Come O Come

I won't sugar coat it. Today's choir experience was just sort of ho-hum for me. I've been trying really hard not to let the covid protocols we have to follow, bother me or become my focus. But sometimes it's just too much. Coming 45 minutes earlier than normal, two to three times a week to get covid tested is fine. Inconvenient, but fine. But having to wear masks at times when we're socially distanced and then having to wear them before and after we've been singing for four hours without them, makes zero sense to me. If someone in the choir wants to enlighten me with how this can be even remotely logical, please let me know. I promise I'll listen carefully and kindly to what you have to say and will thank you for your explanation. 

Sorry. My last several posts have been covid-comment free. But I couldn't not say something today because it's unfortunately become a very real influencer on my choir experience. 

Today's broadcast was the first of several Christmas-themed ones we'll be airing from now until the end of the year. Out of today's five songs, my favorite was "O Come O Come Emmanuel." I quite enjoy songs with "haunting" melodies that are often in minor keys, and this song fits that profile. Why? Because for me, although Christmas can be cheery and bright and full of joy all wrapped up in a neat present with a bow on top, Christmas can also be a difficult and complicated time. And not only that, but the whole Christmas story of Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem and giving birth to Jesus in a stable of animals had, contained within it, emotional and physical difficulties and complexities that a song like "Joy to the World" (as much as I love that song) cannot convey.

Some lyrics from "O Come O Come" that are worth pondering:

"Ransom captive Israel that mourns"
"From depths of hell Thy people save"
"Cheer us...and disperse the gloomy clouds of night"
"Make safe the way"
"Rejoice, rejoice"

Rejoice indeed.

Not a lot of choir news to share. The Choir will be rehearsing the next couple of Tuesdays (along with the normal Thursdays) to prepare for the closed-to-the-public Christmas Concert coming up soon. After that, the Choir will turn its attention to what the new year will bring: General Conference, an Easter Concert, the Heritage Tour (which may or may not happen, again), the Summer Concert, General Conference again, and Christmas again. And so the cycle goes. 

May your plea that Christ come to you during this Christmas holiday, be answered in personal and miraculous ways.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #410 - The Teleprompter. A Love/Hate Relationship

As mentioned in a previous blog post, one of the goals of the Choir --now that we've resumed singing-- is to do a better job at singing to our audience directly. Or in other words, not looking down much at our music so that people can see directly into our eyes and countenance. One of the ways we now accomplish this is by relying on a teleprompter, which consists of probably 14 different strategically placed monitors. The idea is that no matter where you are in the choir seats, your eyes won't have to shift too far from where the director is standing (and thus make it look like you're looking directly at the director).

A few thoughts and observations about the teleprompter:

*While it gives us the words and even does a pretty good job at indicating which part (S, A, T or B) sings at any given time, its cannot give us the notes and rhythm, obviously. So most of our concentration during rehearsal goes into memorizing entrances, who sings when, what the notes are, and what the rhythm is. 

*Even if you have a song memorized fully, I find myself tempted to look at the words. It's like my mind is in a battle of trusting what I know and having the "answers" displayed conveniently right in front of me. A constant tug-o-war!

*When I have a song *almost* memorized, I can't really shift between looking at the teleprompter and looking at straight at the director because there's a definite eye shift that would be quite obvious on camera. So then I've got to make a decision to either keep my eyes glued to the screen so that eye shift doesn't happen, or I've got to trust that my memory will come through and keep my eyes focused on the director. But when a piece of music is only in the "almost" memorized camp, why would I risk trying to rely on my fallible memory?

*If I'm not careful, I can sing an entire song and not even think once about what I'm singing about as I read the words off the prompter. It's like driving down the freeway and after 10 minutes, realizing you really haven't thought about the actual driving you've been doing. To combat this, I take some time (while waiting for my covid test results) and look through the music's words and really try and internalize them so I can think about them while I'm singing.

*I found it refreshing today when the teleprompter went down during one of our pieces (during the run through). Fortunately it was a piece in which we were actually allowed to look at our music. So I followed along in my music, trying to glance down infrequently. But I found it was nice because I could see the notes and rhythm and felt very confident all of a sudden. 

*One could argue that the teleprompter is allowing us to memorize less lyrics. And that's true. There ARE choir members who try and memorize everything each week so they don't have to look at the prompter at all. And then there are those who memorize one or two pieces, knowing that singing a song that is fully memorized is the best of feelings and may come in handy later when we might be in a situation/venue where this is no prompter.

Anyway.

Not too much more to say about the choir topic today. The broadcast went extremely well. Mack even said it went the best it could have gone. Which is rare. I think my favorite from today was "Come Ye Thankful People Come". Not only does it speak about gratitude, but I like the lyric "All are safely gathered in." After the broadcast, we stayed and recorded a piece that will be used in our Christmas Concert and after that, I got changed and then did my music library duties until noon. 

Then I got to go home.

Until next time, God be with you. And for those of you who celebrate the holiday, have a very happy Thanksgiving!

Notice how none of us are looking down at our music!

TCATS #409 - Yoked

Sometimes God points us in a certain direction by having us hone in on a particular concept. And one way He does that is by repetition. 

Earlier this week, my son was asking about what a yoke was (and what it meant to be yoked). My wife took the opportunity to answer those questions and then tied it all into being yoked with Jesus Christ.

Then as I was reading a couple of talks a few days ago from this recent General Conference, both of them referenced the scripture in Matthew 11:30 "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Then, today's Spoken Word on the broadcast ended with these words: "By inviting us to join Him in His yoke, the Lord is not promising to make our burdens disappear. Instead, He offers to carry them with us—to heal us in our heartache, to comfort us in our sorrow. None of us is as strong as we’d like to be. We need help from Someone greater than us all. When our journey makes us weary, He can help us find what we’ve been searching for—rest in Him."

As I pondered this concept of being yoked with Christ, I realized that I sometimes toss the yoke option aside and just want to carry my burdens without His help or involvement. As a fellow "pilgrim on a sea of strife, oft wounded, lost and weak" (from "May We Be More Like Thee" on today's broadcast), I'm not sure why I sometimes decline divine assistance. But I do. Maybe it's because I think I have enough strength. Maybe it's because I feel like the support I get from my family and friends is sufficient. Or maybe it's because my faith sometimes reaches a low point and I feel like the yoke is too hard to find, let alone put on. But I guess I'm re-realizing that if Christ is a true friend who loves me and is always eager to help me, it makes very little sense to turn down that love and assistance.  Accepting it will only help. It will only make each day a little easier and a little brighter. And who wouldn't want that?

At any rate, today's "Choir experience" was a good one. I enjoyed the songs, was able to get the words to one I was working hard on over the weekend ("Give Glory to His Honored Name"), and was able to talk to several friends whom I'm grateful for. 

As for Choir "news", I supposed the biggest news came on Thursday when we were told that we would indeed be having a Christmas Concert, but that it was going to be more of a Christmas "taping session". Audience members would be severely limited each night (no available public tickets) and it would mainly be something that everyone will get to see NEXT year. Our Christmas concerts are normally broadcast a year later, but the fact that the Conference Center wouldn't be filled to see it, certainly makes this year's concert unique. You can find out all about this year's concert (including the special guests) as well as how to watch our "20 Years of Christmas" video special--which will be broadcast on numerous stations at various time in December--by clicking HERE.

Until next time, God be with you.