TCATS #440 - The Virtual Sick Room

I wasn't planning on posting anything today given the fact I missed attending both the in-person rehearsal Thursday and the performance today. But I thought I'd share a few thoughts about what it's like when a choir member gets sick and still tries to fulfill his/her calling.

First of all though, I have to comment on the timing of all of this. Given my attitude and reluctance to be "all-in" with Choir lately, you might think that missing a week would of sort have been a treat for me. Ironically though, I was actually very excited to go to Choir Thursday--for four main reasons.  1) It was the first time back to the Tabernacle after what seemed like a long summer in the Conference Center--and I was anxious to finally be able to look into the faces of those who came to listen to us rehearse. 2) I was going to go early and rehearse a quartet number that a friend of mine invited me to be a part of (to be performed in a sacrament meeting later this month). 3) The songs we were rehearsing for both the performance today and for future broadcasts were songs I really loved. And 4) I was anxious to say hello to my buddy Wes who I hadn't seen for a few weeks. 

But, it was all not to be. 

I started feeling sick on Tuesday and it was clear on Thursday that I was in no condition to go sing. So I contacted an individual on the Choir admin team letting her know I was sick. And she put me in contact with someone on the medical committee who asked about my symptoms and laid out how things would go. Basically, the medical committee is treating every illness as covid-19 and in order to come back, I'd have to have two negative tests within 48 hrs of each other. I could choose not to do the test, but would have to wait longer to come back to ensure I wasn't potentially bringing the virus with me. Anyway, for rehearsal, I received authorization to attend the virtual sick room which is basically just a Zoom meeting that, when logged in, is zoomed in on the conductor leading the Choir. Attending the sick room would allow me to get partial attendance credit. The sick room felt a bit lonely as it wasn't like a typical zoom call. I couldn't see anyone else who was logged in and therefore had no chance to chat about the rehearsal as it went along. However, I knew my friend Willy was in the sick room too so we started up an external chat and enjoyed commenting on the various songs being rehearsed. 

On Saturday, I again contacted "Jill" from the medical committee to let her know I still wasn't feeling that great and she authorized me to attend the sick room again, the next morning (today). She also said I'd need to test Monday and then again on Wednesday if I wanted to come back to choir on Thursday. Willy was again in the virtual room and I later found out Wes was there too. The bonus to being in the sick room today was getting credit for joining the extra post-broadcast rehearsal even though we didn't have to actually stay logged in (technical issues). 

Anyway, I just wanted to give you a glimpse into the "being sick process". Hopefully I'll be back on Thursday and not have to find out anything more about it!  :) 

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #439 - The Super Six

A shorter post today, but I did want to mention a few things.

First, I really liked all six songs we sang today. Saints Bound for Heaven brought me back to my Concert Choir days at BYU where I was first introduced to that song and fell in love with it. We Thank Thee Lord for This New Day is a new song by Mack Wilberg that debuted several months ago. I love the harmonics, the changes between major and minor keys, and how it's different from our standard fare. O Come Ye Nations of the Earth talks about letting your light shine. Each of us has something to give and I appreciate that reminder. My Song in the Night is one I've always loved mainly because I feel like, at least for me, much of our lives is spent wading through the dark as we search for more light. I mean, we live in the light that we feel like we have and that light is important to cling to. But there's also our ever growing "faith shelf" which contains oh so many questions and causes us to feel like we're in the dark. Hold On is definitely a favorite musical song with an important message about patience and perseverance. And Come Labor On is a relatively new hymn for me personally, but reminds me of missionary work since my daughter is out serving (Ryan Murphy shared the same sentiment). Apparently this hymn is widely known in other Christian sects--so it's nice to finally know it now myself. And while the message can apply to missionaries, it also applies to each of us since "work" is a very important part of finding happiness.

Second, the Choir started using a new attendance app called "Roll Call". Up until now, there have been designated individuals in each section of the choir that would take attendance the good ol' fashioned way. By observation and pen/paper. This was very time consuming and prone to error. Now we all just scan a QR code on our way in, and then again on our way out, and bam! All done. While the Church (and by extension, the Choir) is always a bit slow to adopt technology, I'm glad we're making progress on this front. Especially, as mentioned before, putting more emphasis on the digital music streaming apps instead of always taking about buying CDs. 

Third, we have a new Director of Travel - Justin Smith. I guess the choir will once again go on tours after all. Some of my choir friends had begun to wonder. 

Fourth, the best part of today? Having my wife surprise me by coming to watch Music & the Spoken Word ! 

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #438 - The Piano Guys

The Piano Guys joined us as guest performers on today's Music & the Spoken Word broadcast. It was truly nice to have them. I think very highly of both Jon and Steven and the great music they share with the world. Seeing them perform brought back some Christmas related memories for me personally since my wife and I, along with several of my siblings and my parents used to get tickets every year to Jon's Christmas show at Kingsbury Hall. Each show he'd delight us with his amazing piano skills and, invariably, he'd have his good friend Steven Sharp Nelson as a guest on the show to share his amazing skills on the cello. Of course that Jon Schmidt Christmas show ended as soon as The Piano Guys became "a thing" and Jon's gone on to enjoy a much wider audience with Steven and the other two members of the group, Paul Anderson and Al van der Beek.

One thing, among many, that impressed me as I observed them both on Thursday night and this morning, was their devotion to God. In the remarks they made at rehearsal and then publicly as part of the Spoken Word portion of the program today, they are always very quick to thank God for their talents and for being able to share their music with others. They are also very quick to ask for God's help before any rehearsal or performance. This was exemplified on Thursday when they came on stage to rehearse the first piece. Minutes before that, the Choir had opened the rehearsal in prayer as we normally do. But as Jon and Steven weren't there for that portion, they didn't know we had prayed. So, after only a minute or so into the rehearsal, Jon piped up and asked Mack Wilberg if we had said a prayer yet. And after Mack assured him that we had, the rehearsal resumed. It reminded me of a scripture from the Book of Mormon that says "...ye must pray always, and...not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul." (and, if I may add, the welfare of others)

A couple of behind-the-scenes comments from Thursday's rehearsal and today's performance:

First, when Jon and Steven were being officially introduced to us Thursday, each of them took a couple of minutes to say a few words. Steven focused on how one of our main goals should be to fill the "music listening space" with wholesome music that the youth can latch onto instead of them listening to much of the popular music today that's explicit in nature (he cited the fact that on Spotify last year, 14 of the top 20 streamed songs had explicit lyrics). While I don't think that the youth out there will start listening (or listen more) to the Tabernacle Choir or The Piano Guys, the message of producing more wholesome content is definitely a good one.

Second, we had lots of people show up today. They filled the entire main floor of the Conference Center and started filling up various sections of the 2nd floor Terrance as well. I got the sense that several who showed up thought that perhaps The Piano Guys would be featured more on the program--as if they'd be performing sort of a mini-concert. While I think it would have been cool for Jon and Steven to maybe do a few numbers themselves after the broadcast for the audience's sake (since the broadcast can't go longer than 30 min), that's not what happened. That said, I hope they focused on what was in front of them: 30 minutes to feel and hear heaven inspired music.

Third, following the broadcast, the audience was invited to stay if they wanted, to watch us record the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah.  Apparently at some future point in time, The Piano Guys will be releasing a video that shows them performing the Hallelujah Chorus (on piano and cello of course) and also shows The Tabernacle Choir somehow intermixed with that performance. I'm not sure how the end result will turn out, but knowing The Piano Guys, I'm sure it'll be very cool.

Fourth, the morning ended with Rick Elliott and Jon Schmidt performing a duet of the song "Waterfall"--which is actually one of Jon's signature songs he plays (or used to at his concerts). While I felt like the organ sort of dominated the duet, it was a pretty cool performance. I've always loved that song.

As for me and my current Choir journey, I felt fairly neutral this week. Which is actually an improvement. So I'll take it. While there aren't a lot of unusual or out-of-the-ordinary Choir performances coming up, I'm going to try my best to find whatever magic is in them.

Until next time, God be with you.

 

TCATS #437 - Reclaiming What's Been Lost

For any of you who have followed my blog for at least the past year or so, it should come as no surprise for me to admit that I've had plenty of Ryan-Choir relationship challenges. For most of the pandemic, I was soooo wanting to get back to Choir to do what I loved (sing uplifting music that inspires others). But for almost two years, that never happened and my longing was in vain. It was a terribly difficult time. Then, at long last, we started up again near the end of September! But it was not a normal start-up. No, it came with covid protocols a-plenty. Which, at least for me, completely obliterated any joy I once felt singing with the choir and turned my two year longings into frustrated lamenting. It's true that at some point those covid protocols were nullified and the Choir resumed "normal" operations. But I personally never quite recovered from it all. My varying negative emotions felt during those still-in-covid-but-singing-anyway months persisted. Yes, there were moments I was able to break out of those emotions and feel a level of peace and gratitude while fulfilling my musical missionary calling. And I'm grateful for those moments. But most of the choir train ride I was on, and still am on, was on the bottom of the valley floors instead of traversing through scenic and beautiful mountain vistas.

While going through all of this, I've been really trying hard to adjust my attitude, to "reinvent" my excitement, to look at oft-repeated songs with fresh eyes, and to remember all of the people out there who are deeply moved & impacted by the product the Choir produces. I feel, though, like a yo-yo that occasionally moves upwards along the winding string but just doesn't have enough momentum to make it clear to the top (and then ends up at the end of the string...spinning, but not going anywhere). I've become too critical, too discontent, and too infatuated with a hope that the Choir will be propelled on this new and exciting trajectory. A trajectory that really only exists in my head. 

How silly of me. 

The formula the Choir has prescribed to for the past 90+ years has "worked". And by most measurements (number of streams, number of YouTube views, etc), the formula continues to work. Some could even argue that the slightly modified formula has taken success to a whole new level. And I would agree that the modifications have indeed helped (using the teleprompter so that viewers can look into our eyes more, finally ditching CDs and embracing streaming platforms, involving choir members more in concert narration--to name a few). So why can't I be content and excited with these improvements and finally recapture the joy I once felt? Why can't I be like the new members of the Choir who are all smiles even when they spend ten hours outside of rehearsals to learn music they are unfamiliar with? Or heck, why can't I be like Choir members who have been in Choir as long as I have and STILL dutifully rehearse on their own time during the week, and who come with bright happy attitudes and who love what they do?

It's got to be me. All me. There is no one else to blame.

I think my goal at this point is to see how the rest of this year goes and then perhaps do some serious re-evaluating. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's time to go quietly into the night. I hope not. But if I can't reclaim what's been lost, the Choir organization would have absolutely no problem replacing me with someone who isn't struggling to reclaim anything. Someone who truly loves to be there. Someone who's smile is completely genuine. And someone who will gladly and wholeheartedly work hard to let his musical testimony shine forth into the hearts of those waiting to receive it. 

How I long to be that person again.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #436 - Surprise Visit + Recognizing Ukraine

To be honest, I was in one of those slumps this week. The songs we sang were nice but most we had sung many, many times before. I was looking for change, something new, something exciting. And yes, I know Choir is not about me. I should always put my personal satisfaction way below the needs of our listeners. And yes, I typically believe that with the right attitude, anything can be great. But I'm sorry...none of that was working for me this week. Call me mortal...call me lazy...call me whatever you'd like. But I did not have it in me to be that choir member--the kind who's excited, so thankful, and incredibly thrilled to be there!

But, there are a few things that touched my heart and I'd like to share them with you.

First, near the end of the rehearsal on Thursday night, Mack mentioned there was a surprise. And as he sort of backed away from the podium, up came none other than Kristin Chenoweth. Her comments were brief, but basically she mentioned she is currently working on improving her relationship with God and wanting to listen to Him more and she said that there were few places she could think of that would help her do that better than being with the Tabernacle Choir. So, she took a chair down in the audience seats and spent time just listening to us rehearse. Granted she kept having to greet various people who wanted to come up to her and say hello, but she did get some time to focus on the music. On Sunday, she attended the broadcast and was much more able to hone in on the music. 

I think it's pretty cool that she chose, out of all the places she could have chose, to spend some time with Tabernacle Choir--all in an effort to improve her spirituality and her relationship with the Divine. I sincerely hope she received what she hoped to receive.

Second, on Sunday right before the broadcast started, Lloyd Newell introduced several guests in the audience who had come to listen to Music & the Spoken Word. Of note was the official National Curling Team of Ukraine who was using some of the facilities in the SLC area to train on. Everyone stood and gave them a round of applause. Then, after the broadcast was over, one of our organists Andrew Unsworth, played a personally arranged version of Ukraine's national anthem. It was very touching and several choir members around me had tears come to their eyes just thinking of what these Ukranians, their country, and their loved ones, have been through given the ongoing war there. 

Third, during one of the songs today--one that I didn't expect to really touch me personally--I felt a very comforting warm feeling as I honed in on the lyrics "Pray, He is there. Speak, He is listening. You are His child, His love now surrounds you." Was grateful for that. 

Soooo....all in all, despite my initial unenthusiastic mood, I'm grateful for how things played out. Whether this mood continues, I can't say. But for today, I'll take what was given me and go with it.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #435 - Questions With No Answers

Being in the Choir now eight years, there are a few questions I've had that seemingly have no answers. And if there ARE answers, I'm not sure who to ask or how to find them. None of these questions are really that big of deal and in the grand scheme of things, they're almost not even worth mentioning. But, as I was thinking about what to write about for today, I thought it might be kind of fun to just mention these questions that pop up in my head every so often on an irregular rotation cycle. So here we go. 

The top ten inconsequential questions with elusive answers (in no particular order).

10. Why is it, exactly, that we start Sunday morning rehearsal at the odd time of 7:25? One would think maybe 7:15 or 7:30. But no, it's 7:25.

9. Why do the men have to double-button their suit coats? The former seating manager and the new one regularly stands in front of the guys holding up two fingers, meaning to button both buttons. From the Business Insider website, we find this interesting fashion advice: "There's a basic rule when it comes to buttoning up a suit jacket: "Sometimes, Always, Never" — if you have a three-buttoned jacket, sometimes button the top one, always button the middle one, and never button the bottom one.  In a two-buttoned suit, you should always button the top button and never the second. Regardless, no matter what kind of suit you're wearing, the bottom button should never be buttoned up."  Hmmmm. 

8. During Music & the Spoken Word, there's always an organ solo in between choir songs. And without fail, it's always a big deal that the Choir sit very slowly without making any sound, during that solo. But why sit at all? At most, our sitting time is maybe 2 minutes. And the fact that we have another sitting break coming up in the broadcast when Lloyd Newell gives the spoken word means that we really don't need that first sitting break. There are times on tour and in concerts when we stand for very LONG stretches of time, certainly much longer than 15-20 min. It would refreshing to never have to fuss about the issue again and that the standard we follow is to just stand for the organ solo.

7. Guests come in to watch us rehearse Thursday evenings and we've started to greet them formally again (after the long covid break where routines got disrupted). But why does the conductor turn around and officially welcome them when the rehearsal is 3/4th of the way over? Most of the guests have left by then anyway so it almost seems pointless.

6. During every rehearsal, each song we sing is recorded at some point so that the team putting together the program for Sunday knows how long each song is and how much over-roll they need to put in and generally how to make things fit nicely into the 28 min. window. Each time we're about to record, why does the director say "Let's 'tape and time' this." ? There's no tape involved. It's all digital. 

5. As with all Church-affiliated institutions, the Choir doesn't permit men to wear beards. Why is this exactly? Ironically, men with beards who meet standards of worthiness can enter the most holy of places (the church's temples), but they can't sing with them in the Choir. And they can't attend BYU with them, and they can't be a missionary with them.....etc. etc.

4. The men's suits have four colors: Black, Dark Grey, Dark Blue, and Dark Blue again (the "Blazer" with famous pop-off button issues). I realize I have no formal training in how to make a large choir look good under the lights, but is having a light colored suit really going to mess up our "look"? As they stand today, the suits are so similar in color, we often have to look at the tag inside them to know exactly which one we need to put on. 

3. More and more, we've seen members of the orchestra use tablets to read their music off of. These seem extremely handy. And working in the music library, I know first hand how time consuming it is to manage all of the sheet music. Is there a particular reason we can't use tablets to learn music from? These would come pre-loaded with all of the music in the entire library and we'd simply pull up what we needed, when we needed it. I almost become giddy with excitement just thinking about it!

2. Why, again, do we not have a "suggestion box"? I know we've been told that since the Choir organization has been in existence for so long, they've thought about everything and always do things for important reasons. While I honestly appreciate that point of view and believe it 95% of the time, I do think choir members have valid suggestions from time to time. Heck, those suggestions don't even need to be answered. Just submitting them and knowing someone actually reads them would be validating enough.

1. Wondering why the wives of the choir presidency never get to be the ones to greet us Thursday nights and Sunday mornings? I'd love to hear more from them, including spiritual thoughts (that are normally shared by their husbands) and how they've helped to contribute to the mission of the Choir.

Please know these aren't gripes or things I get really upset about. Overall, there are so many great things about singing in the Choir that these smaller annoyances aren't that big of deal. No organization is perfect. But the mind is sometimes curious, you know? It wants answers. And while I don't expect to ever get answers to these particular questions, I'm grateful for the therapeutic excercise of typing them up! 

Thanks!

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #434 - Foundations of Love

As Utah (primarily) and others throughout the world commemorate the arrival of the Latter-day Saint pioneers to the Salt Lake valley today, I'm tasked with taking some time to truly think about what this day means for me personally. Part of that "thinking about" experience includes recognizing that most of my ancestors from several generations back, were individuals who chose to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and thereby accept everything that went along with that choice. In some cases that included leaving their homes in England to come to where the main body of the Saints were in Ohio or Illinois. For most cases, whether immigrants or not, they faced persecution, endured hardships, made sacrifices, and traveled thousands of miles in harsh conditions to finally get to Utah. 

One attribute that I'm positive made all of the difference for them was LOVE. They loved God and their Savior Jesus Christ and their faith in them propelled them forward and made their sacrifices worth it. They loved their fellow brothers and sisters which allowed them to rely on each other when times were tough (and celebrate when times were joyful). And they also loved members of their immediate family--which love was probably the most crucial of all when it came right down to it. 

The Choir just performed a concert last weekend that had love as its theme. I wasn't able to be part of that experience, but I watched the concert later and really appreciated its timely message. (If you haven't seen it yet, I'd highly encourage you to take 1 hour and watch/listen to it) Today, instead of Music & the Spoken Word having the theme of "remembering the pioneers" (which is usually the case this time of year), it instead focused on love, again, and specifically love within families. I appreciated this programming decision as there were certainly plenty of listeners out there who connected more with the theme of love in families instead of remembering pioneers. The beauty of all of the songs we sang today, though, was that they simultaneously related to both themes. "Come, Come Ye Saints", and "They the Builders of the Nation" obviously speak to latter-day saints' pioneer heritage. But the lyrics touch on themes that have love at their roots and can be applied to everyone who's trying to move forward with faith. One of my favorite songs today was "Where Love Is"--not necessarily because I love that song from a musicality standpoint--but it was the way we sang it. In fact, I think this was a Music & Spoken Word FIRST. We all walked towards the center of our respective rows while those in the front went down on the small podium, surrounding Bro. Wilberg and the two orchestra players who joined us playing the harp and the flute. It made for a very intimate rendition of this song. We did this sort of thing for one of the numbers at our last Christmas Concert. But I don't ever remember doing it during a weekly broadcast. At any rate, it was a nice experience and it made me feel like we were more of a choir "family". 

I hope that all of us, just like the pioneers, can center our lives on love. Whether it's loving God or whatever higher power you believe in, loving our neighbors, or loving our immediate (and I'd add, our extended) family members, I know we'll feel happier and probably feel that beautiful feeling of being loved in return. 

And truly, there's no better feeling than to give and receive love.

Until next time, God be with you.