Hello Friends! I realize it's been awhile since my last post and you may be wondering if I plan on posting more regular updates moving forward. The short answer to that question is "No". Things in my personal life have culminated in such a way that I need to take a break from Choir. Coming out as gay, going through a divorce (amicable as it is), and experiencing a level of Choir burnout, has taken a toll on my mental health and my ability to feel like I'm effectively contributing to the Choir's mission. My hope during the next two months is to get to a place where I love Choir again and find joy in the songs we sing--even the ones we've sung fifty times. I'm not expecting me to love ALL songs (if we never sang "I Think the World is Glorious" ever again, I would certainly shed no tears), nor am I expecting that every single Choir rehearsal or performance will be magical as perhaps it once was during my first three years. But I do want to be able to focus more on the people hearing these songs. After all, these people, our world-wide audience members, may not exactly recognize all of what they're hearing. But if they were to analyze the sound coming at them and (hopefully) into their hearts, they'd discover that the sound contains 400 individual voices, each with their own convictions and experiences and love of the Savior. They'd also be able to detect variations in that "standard". And I know lately that I've been a variation. I've taken away from, rather than added to, that standard.
As I've been going through the depths of these current hardships I've been experiencing, I do want to say thank you to all of those who have reached out with love and support. It's really been overwhelming. You have exemplified the best in humanity and in Christianity. While it's difficult for me to actually feel the sincerity of your compassion (a lifetime of being mired in shame will do that to a person), I logically know it's real--and it's humbling. So thank you.
Being a fan of the choir, you are most likely familiar with what the rest of the year holds. Up next is General Conference and after that is the Christmas Concert (guest artist to be announced in the weeks to come). The beginning of 2024 will be a very busy one as we prepare music for our next tour in February (to what I think will be the Philippines, though the Choir Presidency continues to say "Southeast Asia"). I'm planning to go on that tour should I be selected, but we'll see where I'm at.
Until next time (mid-November), God be with you.
