TCATS #471 - Leave

Hello Friends! I realize it's been awhile since my last post and you may be wondering if I plan on posting more regular updates moving forward. The short answer to that question is "No".  Things in my personal life have culminated in such a way that I need to take a break from Choir. Coming out as gay, going through a divorce (amicable as it is), and experiencing a level of Choir burnout, has taken a toll on my mental health and my ability to feel like I'm effectively contributing to the Choir's mission. My hope during the next two months is to get to a place where I love Choir again and find joy in the songs we sing--even the ones we've sung fifty times. I'm not expecting me to love ALL songs (if we never sang "I Think the World is Glorious" ever again, I would certainly shed no tears), nor am I expecting that every single Choir rehearsal or performance will be magical as perhaps it once was during my first three years. But I do want to be able to focus more on the people hearing these songs. After all, these people, our world-wide audience members, may not exactly recognize all of what they're hearing. But if they were to analyze the sound coming at them and (hopefully) into their hearts, they'd discover that the sound contains 400 individual voices, each with their own convictions and experiences and love of the Savior. They'd also be able to detect variations in that "standard". And I know lately that I've been a variation. I've taken away from, rather than added to, that standard. 

As I've been going through the depths of these current hardships I've been experiencing, I do want to say thank you to all of those who have reached out with love and support. It's really been overwhelming. You have exemplified the best in humanity and in Christianity. While it's difficult for me to actually feel the sincerity of your compassion (a lifetime of being mired in shame will do that to a person), I logically know it's real--and it's humbling. So thank you. 

Being a fan of the choir, you are most likely familiar with what the rest of the year holds. Up next is General Conference and after that is the Christmas Concert (guest artist to be announced in the weeks to come). The beginning of 2024 will be a very busy one as we prepare music for our next tour in February (to what I think will be the Philippines, though the Choir Presidency continues to say "Southeast Asia"). I'm planning to go on that tour should I be selected, but we'll see where I'm at. 

Until next time (mid-November), God be with you.

TCATS #470 - Three Notables

Hello my friends. Just wanted to check-in with some recent thoughts--three thoughts, to be precise!

The first thought was regarding the Music & the Spoken Word broadcast last week. For those who saw/listened to it, you surely noticed the absence of traditional patriotic music that has normally been part of this annual Independence Day "special". The one patriotic song we did sing was "Battle Hymn of the Republic"--though it could be argued that even though this song is considered patriotic by many (and indeed came about because of the civil war and the abolitionists decrying slavery ("let us die to make men free...")), it's also a very religious song that talks about what God and Christ have done for each one of us. At any rate, I personally had some mixed emotions about it all. On a general level, I've always thought that because the Tabernacle Choir represents a global Church, it shouldn't cater its programming to celebrate just one particular country. That said, I am a big fan of utilizing US holidays as launching points into themes such as freedom, justice, remembering our loved ones, celebrating mothers and fathers, and gratitude (to name just a few). So, I think it was the right call to center the program on the theme of FREEDOM. Here's an excerpt from the spoken word:  "Freedom, it is often said, is not free—either to obtain or maintain. And what is the price of freedom? Well, certainly freedom of expression comes with the price of kindness and civility, even toward those who express views we don’t share. The price of freedom of worship must include respect for religions and faiths besides our own. The price of freedom from want includes sacrificing and serving those in need. And the price of freedom from fear surely includes facing our fears with faith and courage.  Freedom is not just a feeling or an institutional pronouncement. Freedom is found in what we do each day, in the efforts and actions of free people: respect, compassion, peacemaking, and understanding. It’s true, freedom is not free. But as long as you and I are still willing to pay the price, the future of freedom is bright."

Pretty awesome right? No mention of the United States (good), just mention of an important word and its applicable/relatable, universal meanings: freedom. 

My only lament in what was sung for that program was "I Think the World is Glorious". Sigh. I just really don't like that song. Ah well. I'm sure plenty of people do. 

My second thought was regarding the fact that today we celebrated the anniversary of Music & the Spoken Word and have officially launched into our 94th year!  In 2029, we'll celebrate 100 years. In honor of that anniversary, we sang "The Morning Breaks"--which was a song sung at the first MSW so many years ago.

My third thought is that this week is our Summer Concert! All of you who live close, now is the time to get your tickets. And if you don't live close by, you can catch the live stream on Saturday night. All the info on this fun event can be found HERE. 

That's it! But before I go, I just wanted to share something I relearned today. Typically, being the introvert I am, I go to Choir and hope that during the non-singing time--like the breaks we have, or the before and after) people just come to me (not a lot of people! but just enough people that I feel validated and loved). That doesn't always work so well. So, today I decided to proactively reach out to others and it ended up being a good experience. At least three good conversations wouldn't have happened...and who can put a price on a good, uplifting conversation? It might just turn your whole day around.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #469 - 2023 Mexico Tour

As they often say in show business, "It's a wrap!"

The Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square has finished their week long tour in Mexico City--and the Choir Presidency has concluded that our mission objectives were achieved. I almost feel silly trying to add my two bits about the tour because SO MUCH has already been published about it. If you're a fan of the Choir (which I assume you are), then you've surely watched or read all about the tour already. (See HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE if you want a refresher)

Because of the extensive media coverage, I won't be providing a play-by-play of the tour, or even an overview of it since you can get that information elsewhere. What I do want to provide is some of my personal thoughts about it and maybe share an experience or two that you won't likely read about anywhere else.

First, my personal thoughts: 

I had a lot of excitement going into this tour experience. I knew that the concerts themselves were going to truly help bring peace, light, and hope to the Mexican people--and I was excited to lend my particular voice and testimony to the collective voices of the Choir and Orchestra to make that happen. I was also excited to spend time with other choir members; I was excited to have Wes as my roommate; I was excited to see a different people and culture; and I was excited for what I'd learn. 

Along with excitements though, I had a lot of fears too. I was afraid my emotional energy would fail; I was afraid I'd be put in situations where I'd have to pick between spending time with person A or person B (and then letting down whoever I didn't pick); I was afraid the food wouldn't sit well with my sensitive stomach; I was afraid that I wouldn't a good enough roommate; I was afraid that I'd get too "peopled-out" (being the introvert I am); and I was afraid that, looking ahead, I'd have a really hard time coming back to my current life situation. 

Thankfully the excitements were enough to help offset the fears. And though many of the fears did come to pass in one degree or another, God was there for me. Which made all the difference. 

Two experiences....

#1: As choir and orchestra and staff members began to get sick (and there were many of them), there were suddenly a lot of ministering opportunities to be had. Whether it was giving priesthood blessings, making runs to the nearby convenience store to get Gatorade, foregoing scheduled sight-seeing events just to be there for the ill, or even simply giving words and hugs of encouragement, I (along with many, many others of course) found  joy in trying to help. I must admit though, that when I tried putting myself in the shoes of the sick, I wondered what my emotional/spiritual response would have been. I kept thinking "Are those who are sick and in pain wondering why they even came on tour? Are they a bit frustrated with God that their preparations and faith seemingly weren't "enough" to allow them to do what they came to Mexico City to do? Do they wish they never came? How are they making sense of it all?" It was hard, emotionally, to think about the potential complexities. 

So I took the opportunity to ask one of my good friends what he was thinking about it all (he had gotten sick fairly early on and had to miss the first concert in Tuluca). And he said something I found to be really insightful. He said that he looked at this unanticipated turn of events as simply a "mission transfer". In other words, at first his mission was to come to Mexico and sing at the concerts--including this first one in Toluca. But for that particular day, his mission had simply changed. And while he didn't know yet what that change would entail, he was eager to find out. 

I just sat there in awe. Dumbfounded, really.
What an awesome perspective!
(I know for certain that would not have been my response.)

#2: While waiting behind stage to eventually go onto the stage, I had been contemplating the day and lamenting some things I had done earlier. I was also beginning to doubt a blessing my dad had given me before the tour about staying healthy. “Why would God want to sustain that blessing given my weak faith and all the mistakes I make?” Not a second after I thought that though, a voice came into my head that still chokes me up as I sit here and think about it. It said “Ryan, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or who you are. I love you. And don’t forget it!” The voice was so distinct and so clear that it took me by surprise. As I walked on stage and began to sing songs centered on the tour's theme of HOPE, I'd like to think that my contribution to those listening was hearing a renewed conviction of God's love for all of Their children. After all, hope is felt more powerfully and definitively when it's coupled with a knowledge that you are loved.

Before ending, I wanted to include a few quick gratitude shout-outs and also post a few pics I took on tour.  I'm thankful for all the many, many people who worked behind the scenes to make tour happen. Thankful for the Mexican audiences that are truly the BEST audiences (the love that came from them was simply stunning). Thankful for Ron Gunnell giving us a fascinating fireside on the process of securing guest artists for our Christmas concerts. Thankful I got to see some beautiful cathedrals, the pyramids at Teotihuacan, and various local landmarks. Thankful for the fun time and conversations I had with friends--including a last-minute adventure with my roommate to find a churro, haha. And I'm thankful for the various individuals who ministered to me and my needs in the very moment I needed them to (you know who you are). 

Ah--and one more thing. You are all invited to attend (or tune into) the Summer Concert that we'll be putting on mid-July. The wonderful, spirited Adassa will be joining us and we'll be sharing a lot of music we sang on tour. You won't want to miss it!

Until next time, God be with you.

 

Checking out the sites not far from our hotel

Right after our concert in Toluca. Waiting for the buses!

Wes and I waiting for the elevator from the 15th floor

A shot of my friend Jason at the Toluca Botanical Gardens

Enjoying the beautiful gardens

Had to get a pic of my friend Sean Taylor (who I swear looks like Goose from Top Gun!)

Evan, Mike, Ben, Jeremy, and I headed to see a cathedral

Huge, beautiful, and ornate cathedral in Zocalo

My view in the Toluca Cathedral where we performed

The three amigos

Having lunch before seeing the pyramids

Great time hearing this mariachi band

Wes and I at the Teotihuacan pyramids

The Auditorio Nacional advertising our concert!

View of us singing at Sat night's concert

Looking out at the audience who turned on their phone lights

Lunch on Sunday (a view looking down at everyone eating)

Another view of our concert

Patrick and I riding back to the hotel after our last performance

Wes wanted so badly to find a churro...And we did!

Wes, Matt, and I at the Cathedral in Toluca

 

TCATS #468 - All Eyes on Mexico

 As of this moment in time, there are eight days before the Choir embarks on its first tour since 2018 when it visited a few of the West Coast states. The Choir was supposed to go on its Heritage Tour in 2020 to Sweden, Norway, Denmark, and Wales, but never quite made it there due to the pandemic. Now as we look forward to visiting our friends down South, we are all busily engaged in last-minute to-dos so that we feel fully prepared. As I've talked to friends in the Choir and have been monitoring our social media channels, here are a few things Choir members are up to:

*Several of the men have been out shopping (and finding bargains) for short sleeve shirts.  Obviously the weather in Mexico is going to be hot (the current weather forecast for Mexico City shows temps in the mid 80s with sunny to partly cloud skies) and we all have a deep interest in staying as cool as possible. Unlike other tours, we will not be able to just walk around the city on our own due to security concerns. So that cuts back on time spent outdoors. That said, we do have some outdoor activities planned as a group (or subsets of the larger group) and so because we can't wear shorts or t-shirts, we've been trying to find at least some light-weight, lighter colored shirts that will keep us as cool as possible.

*Several of the women have been trying to figure out how to get shampoo and conditioner in the quantities and brands they feel they need (Choir members can't check bags...carry-ons only). And I'd have to say, they've come up with some creative ideas. Everything from ordering their hair products from Walmart and getting them shipping directly to the hotel (just in time for when they arrive), to enlisting the help of Uber drivers to fetch those products for them. I find it all just a little funny, myself. I mean, I respect the desire to have shampoo and conditioner you know and love, but can't the products at the hotel (or perhaps for sale at a shop in the hotel) not suffice for just a week? 

*We've all been trying to memorize the new pieces of music we received just recently (hot off the press!) that are in Spanish. We're getting there. Some have more work to do than others--especially the newer members of the Choir who haven't sung a lot of the "standard" tour music--in addition of course to all the Spanish pieces. I'd have to say I'm pretty impressed with the music. I think it will be well received. 

*The marketing director for the Choir has been working with the Missionary Dept to make sure the "pass-along" cards that have been created are distributed to all the Mexico missions so that missionaries can use them in their daily efforts to bring people to Christ. IMO, these cards are the perfect tool. Who wouldn't take one? And who wouldn't want to tune in to hear some beautiful music? It's a perfect non-obtrusive way to share the Gospel. 

*The Choir leadership is ready to give us all the tour details (and Choir members have been waiting to receive them!) this coming Tuesday evening. I can never say much about our itinerary because of security concerns but I'm hoping to get all of my questions answered Tues night. We were given our flight info--which was great. At first I was a little disappointed I wasn't in the travel group that most of my good friends were in. But, I'm trying to look at it as an opportunity to meet new people and perhaps make a new friend. Everyone has a story. And I hope I can hear a story or two during tour.

That's about the scoop on Mexico Tour prep! Until next time, God be with you. 

PS: In case you missed these tidbits in the news:

1) Guest artists for the Mexico concerts
2) Richard Elliott and Jon Schmidt from The Piano Guys perform "WATERFALL".
3) Music & the Spoken Word to get its first Spanish version! (with two of the four hosts being women!)

 

From today's broadcast