NUTS AND BOLTS: The choir met this past Tuesday evening to rehearse one last time the concert that they'll take to the various cities along the West Coast. Those of us who were not going on tour, filled in the last two rows of seats and rehearsed the songs as well, sitting most of the time, and on a few of the songs, simply observing those in front of us. Then, on Thursday, the Choir held a pre-tour concert, open to the public, in which they went through the concert from beginning to end. Again, those who weren't going sat on the balcony seats, nearest the singers, and observed. Though it became really hot since the Tabernacle was filled to capacity on a warm summer day, the concert went very well and Mack and Ryan commented later that they were pleased. With Willy to my right and Jeremy to my left (and my Aunt Winnie in the audience), we enjoyed the opportunity to listen to all the music and support our fellow choir brothers and sisters. Then, today, of course, was the broadcast, and we sang some great songs--some of which indirectly had a message about fathers, given that's it's Fathers Day.
HOW I FELT: As I've mentioned in prior posts, it's been hard to continually watch the choir make tour preparations knowing that I wouldn't be able to go with them this time. However, I've finally reached a "grateful, happy place" where I can, instead of feeling selfishly sad, wholeheartedly wish them good luck and pray for their success in fulfilling their callings as musical missionaries. With all the sights they'll see, the new and deepened friendships they'll make, and audience members they'll impact, I hope they give their best efforts to singing with the Spirit and projecting a feeling of love that comes from Jesus Christ. People desperately need to feel that, and the choir is in a unique and wonderful position to provide that, through song.
As for the broadcast today, the one song that touched me the most was Pilgrim's Song, which, actually, reminds me of my sister who passed away recently. While I'm always grateful for the time I had with her, I was happy when "the messenger [said to my sister] come quit this house of clay, and with bright angels tower." I really miss her though.
Speaking of missing people, I realized, a few days ago, that today would start a choir break that would span almost a month because of tour and because of personal family vacations. So, I was a bit sad to say goodbye to my carpool group and other choir friends knowing how long it would be before I could say hello again. I'll miss them, and miss singing next to them.
COMING UP: Normal choir happenings will resume on July 5th with rehearsal that night, followed by Music and the Spoken Word on the 8th. Then the choir will start rehearsing for the Pioneer Day concert which will be held the third weekend in July. More details HERE.
Happy Father's Day to all those fathers out there, and particularly to those who wish they could be fathers but have never, as of yet, had the opportunity. My hope is that they get that opportunity, either later in this life, or certainly in the next.
Until next time (July 15th!!), God be with you.
While rehearsing Thursday night, I occasionally diverted by attention to the various people coming in to Tabernacle--as I normally do. Around 8pm or so, I noticed a small family of four make their way to the balcony and find some seats. I don't know why they stood out to me because they weren't all that different from others who had filled the hall. For some reason though, I felt like I needed to keep tabs on them.
Awhile later, we began to rehearse one of my all-time favorite pieces, Psalm 148. As I've probably mentioned before, I love everything about this song. The lyrics, the orchestration, the phrasing, the melody, the harmonies--everything. And it concludes with one of the most heavenly chords I've ever heard! The choir holds out that chord at the end as the orchestration and organ cuts out--so that when we finally are given the signal to end, the sound just reverbs throughout the Tabernacle like some angelic chorus. (YouTube doesn't do it justice, but you can listen to the last 30 seconds here)
Anyway, whenever we sing this song for rehearsal, I just want to grab a microphone and tell all of our visitors that they need to endure our starting and stopping and note/pitch fixing so that they can finally hear us sing it from beginning to end (after rehearsing each song, we "tape and time" it--or rather, record it to CD--so that the directors can listen to it later and give us feedback). And Thursday night, while I still had the desire to pick up that microphone, I especially was wanting that family of four to stay. I don't know if they needed to hear it for a particular reason or if it was just me being crazy (probably the latter). All I know is that I was going to be really sad if they didn't just push through to the end--the end being the prize of listening to Psalm 148 in its entirety.
But stay they did! And as I sang the song, I kept stealing a glance at them and directing my conviction of the song's message, to them. Upon singing that last heavenly chord of notes, they were one of the first ones to start clapping--which led to a big smile appearing on my face.
I suppose all of this can be likened to life (most of music can). If we work through the hard times and try and improve and listen to our heavenly director, we can, in the end, partake of those "payoff" moments in life--and ultimately partake of the eternal prize as well.
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So, this week, the Choir will present it's free pre-tour Concert at 7:30 pm in the Tabernacle. It's a first-come, first-seated event which is sure to "sell-out". Those going on tour will commence that event on June 19th, while those of us who are not going will enjoy at 2 1/2 week break. After the tour concludes, the Pioneer Day Concert (a.k.a "Music for a Summer Evening") will be held in the Conference Center on July 20th and 21st, featuring three amazing guests—Matthew Morrison, Laura Michelle Kelly, and Oscar “Andy” Hammerstein the 3rd.
Until next time, God be with you.
Sweet #1: Singing the songs on the broadcast today. They were all ones I personally loved, particularly "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." I know that song has received a lot of attention over the years and is beloved by almost everyone I know (5.3 million views on YouTube). But every time I sing it--especially the last verse--my emotions just go berserk and my deepest desire to do God's will is overwhelmingly reaffirmed.
Sweet #2: Watching the "Be One" program over the weekend and not only being thankful for the program's overall message, but seeing some of my fellow Mormon Tabernacle Choir brothers and sisters participate. From talking to some of them, rehearsals for that program were very long and frequent. But they thoroughly enjoyed the end result of being able to sing along side those of other choirs and faiths at the direction of Gladys Knight. (As a side note, I have to say how cool it would be if the MoTab could sing with those robes--just once!)
Sweet #3: Being able to provide encouragement and praise to the new choir members lately. I've had quite a bit of interaction with them and while they appreciate the help, I really appreciate being able to see things from their point of view and being able to feed off of their fresh desire to do their very best at every rehearsal and performance.
Bitter: I normally don't focus on the difficult parts of being a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I like to keep things positive and inspiring, and like to focus on my true gratitude for this incredible opportunity. So forgive me.
As you know, the Choir goes on tour every other year and most choir members are very excited to go. I've gone on the last two--one to the East Coast and one to Europe. My favorite part of tours are the concerts themselves. Everything is memorized, usually nothing is filmed, and this allows us to concentrate on the lyrics and projecting the spirit of the music in a unique way. I absolutely love it.
This year, the Choir is headed to the West Coast and we've been having a lot of extra rehearsals to get ready for the event. As I prayed about whether or not I should go on tour this year, I received the answer that I needed to stay home. There are several reasons I could think of that would support this heaven-sent answer, and there are probably several reasons I don't know about yet. One of the biggest reasons is that this is the last summer with my son Josh before he heads off to college and then a mission, and we've planned a family vacation that will take a lot of my employer-allotted vacation days. Adding 12 more time off days to go on tour just wouldn't be feasible.
At any rate, while I know it's the right thing, I still can't help but feel sad at not being able to go. Really sad. Lately, at these extra rehearsals, often only those going on tour will be asked to stand and sing. Which makes me not even want to be there. (I realize the logical reasons for our director to just want to hear the tour people sing, but logic doesn't always help control emotions) I see people pouring over their travel itineraries, I hear them talk about packing and sight-seeing, I see roommates taking time to plan and get excited together, and I glance through large sections of our weekly newsletter talking about tour, only to have it pounded in that such things don't apply to me. And next week, I'll have to attend the pre-tour concert, only to have my memories take me back to deep and sacred moments (and fun ones, too) of singing that same concert repertoire during my times on tour. Add to that the social media chatter that some people in choir aren't going, on purpose, because they just don't want to--well, it makes me upset. And it makes me more upset when I get the feeling that some are putting me into THAT camp--though nothing could be further from the truth.
"You're being a little dramatic Ryan, aren't you?"
"It's not THAT big of deal, is it?"
"You can look forward to the next one, right?"
"You get two weeks off of choir--wont' that be great?"
Well, OK...thanks.
Life goes on, and I certainly am looking forward to spending time with my family. Of course I love doing that! But will I still miss tour? Absolutely. At least now I'll be able to empathize with others who aren't going for reasons similar to mine, both now, and in the future. And showing empathy to people is a way to lift their burdens--something that brings me joy. So there's that.
I think I'm done.
Thanks for listening.
Until next time, God be with you.
While I don't agree with the notion that all of the wars and conflicts the United States has been involved in have been absolutely necessary (particularly within the past 15-20 years), I do agree that some have. And for those, I know it was important for the brave men and women of our military to fight in defense of our freedoms. So for all of those who gave their time, their skills, their devotion, and particularly their very lives to defend that freedom, I give my heartfelt thanks to you.
I felt a lot of gratitude as I sang on today's broadcast titled "Remember and Give Thanks." In regards to patriotic music in general, there are definitely some that fall into the category of light-hearted and somewhat cheesy. But all the ones we sang today were reflective, inspiring, and spiritual--which I really appreciated. They were like prayers of remembering and prayers of hope.
I don't normally include the text of the Spoken Word portion of the broadcast, here in my blog, but I wanted to include today's because of how moving it was. I can't imagine being the parents of these four boys spoken of, but their unwavering devotion to their country and to God is very inspiring. When I go through my own trials, is my response like theirs?
I'll end with that text, but I just wanted to say how grateful I am for the knowledge that God loves everyone. His way is a way of peace, of unity, and living according to truth. It's designed to promote true happiness. While it's sad that today's world does not reflect that divine way of living, on a general level, and gives way to violence, hatred, and intolerance, I hope we can all do our best to be a little kinder, a little more appreciative, and a little more loving to all those around us.
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SPOKEN WORD MESSAGE, 5/27/18
"Remember and Give Thanks"
Every year on Memorial Day, a young woman visits the small community cemetery in her hometown. She is often drawn to four gravestones standing side by side. They mark the resting places of Clyde, LeRoy, Rolon, and Rulon Borgstrom. She never knew them, but she knows their story. Everyone in the small town of Tremonton, Utah, knows their story.
In 1944, the Borgstrom family sent five sons to war. And in less than six months, four of the five boys had perished. Clyde was killed in an accident while clearing an airstrip. LeRoy was shot caring for a wounded comrade in Italy. Rolon died in Germany after a bombing raid. His twin brother, Rulon, died in France. When President Franklin D. Roosevelt heard of these four tragedies all striking the same family, he ordered the military to send the fifth brother, Boyd, home from his assignment in the Pacific. Boyd did not want to leave, but he finally relented and came home.
When the bodies of the deceased brothers were laid to rest in that small cemetery, the whole community came together to mourn the Borgstrom family’s incredible loss.
Many years later, during one of her annual visits to the cemetery, the young woman met the wife of the surviving brother. She asked her, “How did the mother of the Borgstrom boys cope with such a loss?” The wife responded, “She turned to heaven.” In worship and prayer she found comfort and strength.
Of course, heavenly thoughts don’t remove us from life’s realities. But they do provide perspective. They help us remember and reflect. It’s good for the soul to pause and give thanks for the lives of those who have given so much. Would we have hope and freedom without them? Would we have a chance of peace and prosperity without the brave men and women who protect us still today?
Memorial Day is a day to decorate graves and remember those who went before us—especially those who died serving our country. We honor their valiant service and hold sacred their sacrifice. Each of them deserves to be remembered. Let us never forget.
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Until next time, God be with you.
Being in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir now for almost five years, I've been able to participate numerous times in recording projects. Each time there have been challenges and each time there have been rewards--which, if you'd like, you can read about HERE, HERE, and HERE (past blog entries).
This go around, things went pretty much as expected, including long hours, trying to perfect every note, having to go back, and back, and back to get it right, and learning lessons of humility and perseverance along the way. I was reminded, though, that there's nothing quite like the feeling you get when you've sang the last note of a piece--letting it fade away into the walls of the Tabernacle--and then hear the words of Mack or Ryan say from the recording booth "Sounded great! Thank you very much." (On to the next piece we go!)
As I thought about the recording process this time, I realized how hard it is to actually focus on the words and the message of the song when recording. This is mainly because recording involves being intently focused on musical perfection and making sure that music technicality is of the highest quality (intonation, blending, dynamics, etc). It's also because we start and stop so much. We take a few phrases or measures at a time, get it as perfect as we can get it, and then move onto the next section.
As a result, for me, the complete message and emotional depth of the song and its building and layering continuity, is a bit lost.
The message of the song though, and conveying that message to the millions who hear us, is one of the primary and most important responsibilities we have as musical missionaries. Countless times in singing with the choir, I've had sacred and spiritually uplifting moments pondering the song's message and the truth it contains. And it's at those moments, I hope with all of my heart, that such truth, coupled with the overwhelming feelings I'm feeling, will be carried to the hearts of those listening.
How great it would be to capture those moments, on a CD.
This, however, is where faith comes in. Faith that even though we, of necessity, and from a technical standpoint, need to focus on making the music itself sound perfect, God will take our consecrated start and stop, splice and dice efforts and help the listener capture the feelings and message portrayed as if we had sung and recorded the song in its entirety.
I don't know...maybe this doesn't make much sense. And maybe most choir members during recording sessions are able to focus both on music technicality aspects as well as the music's message and spiritual aspects, simultaneously, better than I can. If so, my hat is off to them! Until I can be like them, I exert my faith and hope my small and at times, unbalanced contribution, helps the overall recording project be a success
Until next time, God be with you.
PS: I was thankful to sit next to Farrell Poll during our recording sessions. Farrell just retired from the choir but was able to come back just for the recording. He was our trusted bass section leader for several years, and a good friend.Those around him, including me, appreciated all of the fanning he did to keep us cool!
PPS: During the last recording session on Saturday (which I was not able to attend), President Russell M. Nelson sat down on one of the Tabernacle benches to listen! He addressed the choir afterwards, thanking us for our service and consecration, and told us to thank our families as well.
PPPS: After the broadcast today, we sang an extra song for those in attendance, mainly directed to leaders and supporters of the NAACP. The song "Lift Every Voice and Sing" is the NAACP's official song. See a short write-up on this song, HERE. Those associated with the NAACP actually stood as we sang (followed by the rest of the audience) and I suddenly felt a great reverence for this song that I had never known about before. It was a great experience.
Today the whole choir family (Orchestra, Choir, & Bells) was grateful to help make some uplifting music that celebrated mothers everywhere. If I received the challenge to put all of the song titles we sang today into one tribute to mothers like mine, my composition would look like this:
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On this day of joy and gladness, we celebrate mothers and those who will one day be a mother. We recognize their nurturing spirit and how they have helped shape the lives of children who grow up to be responsible, kind, and loving adults. We remember back to that time when we were little and would often say before going to bed "Mother, tell me [a] story!" Mom would take a book off the shelf or would rely on her imagination to tell us adventure after adventure. She would also reach for another book--the scriptures--and teach us about the gospel of Jesus Christ and how important it was that we understood important truths to guide our lives by. Indeed, as we looked at our mothers, we came to see that our mother's eyes reflected the love of heaven along with the love of our heavenly parents. It reflected a deep hope that we would come to know, as she knew, how much we were loved and how many people both here and beyond the veil, were praying for us and our happiness. Our mothers helped us realize that the more we were found standing on the promises of Christ, the more ability and desire we'd have to do good. In fact, we'd make doing good the center of our lives by consciously praying for opportunities and asking throughout each day, "Have I done any good in the world today?"
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How grateful I am for my mom who not only fit this above description, but continues to shape my life today.
I also want to take this opportunity to say how thankful I am for my sister Mary who, because of mental and physical challenges, never got to be an official mother during this earth life. She wrote once, to a friend:
"...Because my health is so bad, the idea of having kids is unrealistic for me and one that I can even imagine. [But] a lot of soul searching has led me to know one thing about me--that hasn't and will never change--I definitely have a mother's heart. I hope that doesn't sound weird but I think you know what I mean. I've always loved motherly, nurturing type things and even though I don't have kids of my own right now, I can say that in my heart, I am a mother and I can't WAIT till Sam and I actually get to be parents."
Now that's she with Sam in heaven, I hope they get that opportunity to have children someday soon. And for all those women out there who can't have children for whatever reason, but who still have a "mother's heart", this celebratory day is to recognize and honor you, too.
Until next time, God be with you.
Each time the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings Sunday mornings, there's always something that moves me. It may be a certain lyric, someone in the audience, a spiritual remark made by a choir member, or simply feeling unified (in a world that is anything but). Today, though, two songs took the emotional spotlight for me and try as I might, the tears just wouldn't stay in my eyes.
The first was "Nella Fantasia"--a song sung in Italian based on the theme "Gabriel's Oboe" from the 1986 film, The Mission. Guest soloist Stanford Olsen did a fantastic job and as we all sang, I just thought about the men in the film who stood up to the military and ultimately gave their lives in trying to defend the cause of Christianity and the Guarani people (who were eventually killed). It also made me think of how strongly I try to believe in the cause of truth--and my goal of trying to live each day, according to that truth.
The second song was one of my favorites, "Love Divine, All Loves Excelling". The song speaks of being changed, of being made pure and spotless, of accepting our Savior and wanting to be like Him. I think this song impacts me so much because when I'm in the middle of singing it, and I'm thinking about the words and what they mean, I realize that I really do want this! I want to be changed into the person I need to become so I can make it back to live with a Heavenly Father and Mother who love me and who have promised that families can be together forever. Remembering all of this, though, in every day life, it not always the easiest thing to do. My faith wavers. Trials hit and I want to give up. And just when I begin to wonder what I really DO want, I have experiences like the one today that bring me back to the answer.
Finish, then, Thy new creation;
Pure and spotless let us be;
Let us see Thy great salvation
Perfectly restored in Thee;
Changed from glory into glory,
Till in Heav’n we take our place,
Till we cast our crowns before Thee,
Lost in wonder, love, and praise.
My soul just loves that verse.
Before ending today, I just wanted to say thanks to two new Choir friends. After almost five years of carpooling with just my good friend Ben, Alan and Willy (who just joined the choir this year) are now part of the carpool fun! What great guys they are. It will be fun to get to know them more as we ride to and from our weekly musical adventures.
Until next time, God be with you.
