TCATS #485 - The Choir & Me

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

About a lot of things. 

And one of those things is how much longer I'd like to continue being a member of the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square. 

I've been in the Choir for a good ten years now and it's been a good run. This blog has documented all of the grand experiences I've had, along with all of the challenging ones. All in all, I'm sure to look back on the Choir with a lot of fond memories. Being able to serve my fellow human beings in this capacity has really been a dream come true. 

That said, I don't want to turn this into a farewell post, because it's really not. But I do want to document my plans moving forward as 2024 will definitely be my last year.

Amidst my ponderings, I was trying to decide which month would be the best to make my exit. In that pondering process, I had the impression to stay until the next tour is over--which will be in September. Three reasons seemed to surface: I promised someone several months ago that I'd be their roommate for the next tour (the one to Florida/Georgia), so I want to honor that commitment. Also, I have a brother who lives just about an hour away from the State Farm arena where we'll be performing our concert, and he said he'd come watch it. Which is kind of a big deal seeing as how this brother is my youngest brother (twenty years younger) and he and I really haven't had too many conversations or shared experiences in our lifetimes. So, being able to connect with him in this way would be a really good thing. Lastly, I want to give tour one more shot to see if I can remain emotionally stable. Plus, it'll give me a good opportunity to say goodbye to people and thank them for their friendship and camaraderie. 

I suppose a fourth reason would be to give me time to decide what I'm going to do to fill the empty hole left behind once I leave. Join a different choir? Find a place to volunteer at? Spend more time with family? Lots of options. 

Shifting gears, I just wanted to make a couple of comments on today's MSW performance. If you were at the Tabernacle, you would have seen a fairly "normal" MSW. If you were watching or listening from home, you would have seen us performing from the Philippines. :) We did record an episode there, so the one we actually performed today will be used during the time we're in Florida/Georgia.  Also...a very rare thing happened today that's only happened once before: I got to sit next to my friend Willy--who normally sits at least three or four seats over in baritone/2nd tenor land. While I loved sitting next to Wes for at least part of the rehearsal, Wes eventually got moved down a row. And his replacement was Willy. Anyway, that will surely not happen again, so I was grateful.

And that, as they say, is that.

Until next time, God be with you.

 

PS: Here are a couple of screenshots from our Philippines MSW...

 

TCATS #484 - The Philippines Tour

Hey there friends. I'm a little late in posting about my experience in the Philippines, but now that all of the media hype has died down a little bit, perhaps this is as good a time as any. Before diving into it though, I do want to give you a few links if you're interested.

First is a link to one of the concerts we performed at the Mall of Asia Arena. This link should be active for at least a year. If you're short on time, I'd check out the following two segments/songs. For me personally, these were the highlights.

Youth presentation/If You Believe/Hawak Kamay (16 min)

Bahay Kubo (4 min)

Also, if you're interested, I put together a 40 min highlights video that includes photos taken by me/others, news coverage from the church/KSL, various Facebook reels, etc. You can view that HERE, via my Google drive.

Some personal thoughts and experiences: 

**First and foremost, I want to say how welcomed and loved I felt by the Filipino people. From the minute we stepped off the plane to when we got back on it, everyone I met and saw and interacted with was loving, kind, and incredibly grateful. It was very impactful for me.

**The concerts were a highlight to perform. And when we sang the two songs in Tagalog that they were really familiar with (Hawak Kamay and Bahay Kubo), the audience went crazy. After the concerts were over, we had a chance to interact with the attendees on their way out and I've never felt like more of a celebrity in my life. Some kid even wanted my autograph! Most just wanted pictures and hugs and a chance to say how grateful they were that we came to their country to perform such beautiful songs of peace and hope.

**A shout out to several of my close friends who helped me through some emotionally difficult moments. You know who you are and I'm grateful for your love and support.

**Was proud of my roommate, Willy, who did a fantastic job with his solo in singing "Spirit of God". I could never do something like that in front of hundreds of thousands of people. But he did it with confidence and called the experience "fun!" 

**Was thankful for my Pico de Loro beach excursion people. We had one day to just relax--and whether it was on the boat, snorkeling, just laying in a bungalo on the sand or swimming in the water, it was very nice.

**The youth, who put on a cultural celebration just for the Choir, were incredible. Months and months of hard work and practice really made their performance memorable. It was what was in their eyes and overall countenance, though, that was really impactful. They know who they are and they love freely.

**Lastly, I just want to express my appreciation for all those who made the tour happen. Such an undertaking! So many hours of behind-the-scenes work. The unsung heroes.

Here are a few pics. 

Until next time, may God be with you.

Arrived at the airport (3:30 am)

Jeremy, Patrick, Wes, Andy, Willy

Some Filipino youth after their cultural celebration

One of the youth sporting his cultural costume

Walk on the boardwalk: Matt, Wes, me, Jason

Sporting our barong: Jason, me, Wes, Andrew

Off to Pico de Loro beach!

A "distinguished" selfie of me and Wes at the beach

The beach boat crew

Chillin after the beach: Patrick, me

My roommate Willy with his bedtime treat

After the concert, greeting guests

TCATS #483 - Of Hope & Outcomes

This will be my last blog post for the month since the next three Sundays the Choir won't be doing a live broadcast. Next week we're not having one so that Choir members can have a little more time to rest before traveling; the week after that we'll be in the Philippines; and the week after that we will have just arrived back home and will be using that weekend to adjust back to Mountain time zone. An interesting thing to note about us coming back home... We fly back the late afternoon of the 29th (leap day) and we actually arrive the same day before we even left! It's like having not only a leap day, but an extra leap day (February 30th, anyone?). Haha. 

This coming Thursday the Choir will run through the entire concert that we're presenting to the people in the Philippines. If you happen to be in the Salt Lake City area that night, you're more than welcome to attend (it will be in the Tabernacle). It'll start right at 7pm and will last a little past 9pm. We're performing a wide variety of songs so I'm sure there will be something for everyone. If you can't make it, be sure and tune into the live stream of our concert from Manila on Wednesday, February 28th. Click HERE for more details.

It's hard not to get wrapped up in all of the outward excitement of this tour. And rightfully so. The people in the Philippines are thrilled to have us. The music will touch a lot of lives. All of the concerts are sold out and the live stream will surely be watched by hundreds of thousands. The Choir members get to personally greet audience members after the concerts to let them know how grateful we are for them and to make that personal connection. So yes, it's exciting.

Behind all of that, though, there are 500+ individuals who are bringing with them to Manila not only their preparation, dedication, and hopes that all will go well, but also their struggles, their concerns, their fears, and all of the hard things going on in their lives. We do our best to have those harder things take a temporary backseat in our minds and hearts, but it takes a lot of emotional energy to do that. My personal hope is that this experience, as much as it's for the Filipinos, will be a time of individual healing, of increased hope, and of feeling a lot of love from our Savior Jesus Christ. 

My hopes sometimes waver in believing that those outcomes will happen. In fact, I've been praying a lot less for outcomes and just for more personal understanding and acceptance of God's will, whatever that turns out to be. But I'll do my best to maintain that hope because all of those going on this tour will certainly come back to varying degrees of hard things and will be needing the fruits of that hope as they tackle anew whatever they're going through.

Much grace to each of you.
Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #482 - The Ryan Murphy Show

Every once in awhile, Mack Wilberg hands the entire Music & the Spoken Word  program over to the associate director, Ryan Murphy. And today was one of those days.

Ryan is an extremely gifted music director. His passion for making the music sound as good as possible is evident every time he steps up to the podium for a rehearsal or performance. He can hear the smallest imperfection and works hard to help us overcome those imperfections. He's gifted in being able to explain exactly what he wants from us in a way that we can understand and adjust to. It's amazing that when something doesn't sound quite right, he can pinpoint it, can articulate what we need to do to fix it, and then will rehearse it with us until it's either fixed, or he runs out of time :) 

Unfortunately, I never feel like I'm doing enough. And because I feel that way in general (thanks to my personality and habits of toxic self-criticism), I usually come away from these experiences feeling there's just one more reason why I'm not enough.  Honestly, I wish I didn't. But I do. And it's something I'm going to have to continue to work on.

Anyway, I think my favorite song from today's lineup was PILGRIM SONG. Some of the lyrics from this song seem to resonate with my hopes: "When the messenger shall say, come quit this house of clay, and with bright angels tower."

Where can I sign up?

Switching gears, any new news on the Philippines tour you might ask? 

Not really. But, this week we have a pre-tour meeting from 6-7:15 Tuesday night where we should get all of the nitty-gritty details. And then the next day, we'll each get our flight information--whether we're on flight 1 or flight 2 and what our actual seating assignment will be. I'm sure I'll be sending a text to my closest choir buddies after we get that info, just to see if the odds of sitting next to one of them was actually in my favor. . . or not. 

Today the choir men added their charcoal suit pants and their black suit pants to the wardrobe boxes that will be loaded onto the plane in a couple of weeks. Fortunately we are leaving behind all of our ties and suit coats and instead will dress like this:

Apparently, when dressing up for special occasions in the Philippines, the men wear what's called a "barong". And I for one am excited that it will probably feel a lot cooler wearing a barong than wearing a suit coat!

Other than that, everyone just continues to prepare with whatever they feel like they need to do. One of those to-do items for my friend (and tour roommate, Willy) was to better learn the clapping that is part of the Ah El Novio song--since he's never been on tour yet and we only perform that song while on tour. So I went over on Monday night to help him with that and we now feel very confident he will clap in all of the places he needs to. 

Speaking of Willy, kudos to him and the 50+ other men in the choir who just completed auditions for a solo part in the song The Spirit of God. I was amazed at not only how many wanted the part, but how amazing everyone sounded (it's rare that we get to hear each other sing a solo). Willy was one of the six or so men who were asked to come for a final round of auditions Thursday night before rehearsal (woohoo!).  In the end, Mack just decided to take all six with the instructions that each of them learn each of the three parts and come up with a rotation schedule for who would perform when. Guess that works. 

Well, that's about it for the week. I hope you feel extra loved and appreciated as you go through the next seven days and hope that you'll give yourself an extra helping of grace.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #481: Tagalog

So in preparation for our trip to the Philippines soon (22 days and counting), we're learning two songs in Tagalog (from the Oxford Dictionary: Tagalog is an Austronesian language spoken in Luzon and neighboring islands and forming the basis of the standardized national language of the Philippines (Filipino). Its vocabulary has been much influenced by Spanish and English, and to some extent by Chinese, Sanskrit, Tamil, and Malay.) The songs are "Bahay Kubo" and "Hawak Kamay". The language has turned out to be fairly easy to pronounce, but one of the songs moves along quite quickly and I felt like the rehearsing of it was nothing short of a train wreck Thursday night, haha. I have no doubt we'll get there--and the songs do sound pretty cool--but it's definitely going to take some more work and concentration (and practice)!

As an aside, the first time I even heard the word "Tagalog" was when I was working at IBM as a software tester back when I was a college student. The development team was tasked with taking this book called "Talking Walls" and turning it into an interactive educational software experience. The book takes the reader to different parts of the world, exploring culture and language. And one of the "stops" in the book was the Philippines, where it mentioned the language Tagalog. Of course, being ignorant of the language at the time, I pronounced it (Tag-a-log). My smarter team members quickly corrected me and I have never pronounced it incorrectly since!

Good ol' IBM days in Provo, UT...

Anyway, the overall prep to go on this trip is certainly underway. The Choir leadership has been fairly silent up until now regarding measures they are taking to ensure we have safe food to eat (given what happened in Mexico last June). So I've been watching for something to come out that would help boost our confidence levels. And lo and behold, we got this statement included in our newsletter Friday: "In preparation for our travel to Manila, please spend time reading the foodborne/waterborne illnesses documents found in the Choir’s Travel App. It is the best resource for understanding food safety and health in the Philippines. Our top priority when we travel is your health and safety. The hotel management and culinary staff have provided impressive guidelines about their food standards. They have the highest food safety certification in the country (HACCP certified). They will meet our dietary needs, label food properly, and take the necessary food/beverage precautions to keep us happy and healthy during our stay."

After reading that, I was (at first) really happy that I wouldn't have to worry at all about eating/drinking at the hotel. But then I read this caveat from the official guidelines we got regarding food safety: "If the hotel mistakenly puts out foods not on the approved list (i.e. salad bar with fresh lettuce), it is a mistake. Do not eat it!"

Haha. Well, OK. I guess we don't get a free pass anywhere, including the hotel! 
So it goes, I guess. All that said, I AM grateful for everyone working behind the scenes to make this tour as successful as possible. I'm entirely sure I have no idea how many hours and effort have been spent to that end, and it's truly commendable.

Other prep underway (aside from extra rehearsals to review the 23-song concert repertoire), includes choir members posting ideas of things to take on the trip, downloading songs and movies to our phones to fill our time during the long chartered plane flight, consciously thinking about jetlag strategies (one flight gets in late at night--which is perfect--while the other one arrives early in the morning), checking phone plans to see what's covered in the country, purchasing four Covid tests (that we have to submit results of on February 10, 15, 18, and 20), and coordinating with roommates on all things related to living with someone for ten days. 

In texting with my soon-to-be-roommate Willy, he had this to say about our time together: "We're gonna play games and talk and commiserate and cry and strategize about politics and have a grand ol' time!" 

Sounds good to me! (The "cry" part was included just for me as he knows I've been going through a rough time with some things)

That about does it for this post. But to leave on a funny/cool note, a choir member saw this at his local soda/cookie establishment:

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #480 - Fruit of Actual Truth

I've been thinking a lot lately about actual truth versus institutionally endorsed truth. It's true they can be one and the same, but I think it's important to make the distinction because of the resulting conclusions that can be reached. One can mistakenly think that positive, heartwarming feelings (the fruits) are coming from the institution rather than the truths themselves. 

For example, as I was singing the last song today during our Music & the Spoken Word program, I felt a warm/positive feeling when singing the following lyrics:

*Courage, for the Lord is on our side.

*An unseen power will aid me and you.

*Prosper the cause of truth.

*No need to fear.

At first I was tempted to associate these good feelings with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, itself. After all, the Church does endorse this song and its teachings. But really, the truth in these lyrics can (and first and foremost should) stand on its own. Any human being on planet earth can choose to believe these truths and gain strength from them if they so choose. 

It's no particular secret I'm on a faith journey to figure some things out. Part of that journey is cutting the strings attached to long-held beliefs and truths and examining them from different perspectives and understandings. That process also includes detaching them from any particular institution. 

While this journey is fraught with uncomfortable realities and feelings of loneliness and disappointment, I'm grateful for the "a-ha!" moments I have along the way and for recognizing truths that feel good to me. If I can come up with a substantial list of truths that I can fully support, I'll be better equipped to make some visible progress in my journey. I'll also feel less guilt when I have a hard time reconciling things I've been taught with my lived experience and the fruit from actual truth. 

Example? 

Taking the same song today, the following lyrics are ones I had a much harder time feeling good after singing them:

*Let us all press on in the work of the Lord, that when life is o'er we main gain a reward. (Yes, I want to press forward in helping people, but I don't want to do it just to gain a reward in the next life.)

*The Lord our helper, will ever be near. (I often don't feel Him near, even when I feel like I'm entitled to that or really need or want that.)

*In the days of trial, His saints He will cheer. (Is that supposed to be often? Just in the next life? Maybe a couple of times a year? It's been a very long time since I've felt cheerful and full of optimistic hope)

 

I'd be tempted at this point to say "Well Ryan, you must not be a very good member of the Church because you don't believe or resonate with or identify with over a third of this song. What is wrong with you?" 

Now by disassociating the institution from the truth, I can say "I'm just going to take the truths from this song that bring good fruits to my soul and the rest I can leave behind. And leaving some behind is OK."

Anyway, I didn't quite intend to make this post so introspective or heavy, but that's the way it turned out and I'm going to choose to be OK with it :) 

Hope you all have a fantastic week and seek out truth that will bring you fruits of love, hope, and peace.

Until next time, may God be with you.

Singing "Let Us All Press On", 1/21/24

TCATS #479 - The Bookend Basses

Today's broadcast was probably my 400th+ broadcast of all time and sometimes (as you might imagine) I just like to find unique or interesting aspects of my weekly experience. The songs we sang today were fairly typical ones, but if I had to assign a percentage to each of the songs (indicating how often the basses actually sang), it would look like this:

Standing on the Promises (85%)

I Know That My Savior Loves Me (20%)

Dearest Children, God is Near You (10%)

Down to the River (60%)

As I Have Loved You (25%)

Press Forward Saints (100%)

As you can see, we started strong, ended stronger, but had a fairly limited "middle"!

Being a bass is interesting. We rarely get the melody, several songs are full of repeated lines, we can never sing high enough (just ask Ryan Murphy in particular, haha), and we're often told to sing less or sing so we can be "felt but not heard." It's sometimes a thankless job, but someone's got to do it! Every so often we have those moments when we get to shine in all our "lower glory". I guess being a bass is a lot like life, actually: full of routines, supporting others, being content, and only occasionally enjoying those moments full of joy and splendor. 

During the break today, Wes and Patrick and I talked about the two options we get to pick from in regards to activities in the Philippines. One option is to tour Corrigidor Island (WWII related), and the other is to enjoy Pico de Loro beach. Pros and cons to each, but we decided to go with the beach. Amidst our concerts, rehearsals, and service activities, it'll be nice to have a little downtime.

One other choir-related thing that was kind of fun. So my good friend Ryan was in the Choir for 21+ years, having been released just a couple of years ago. At the time of his release, he emailed me a letter that he wanted me to print off and give to the new choir member who would be inheriting his choir number (B077). Sadly, none of the new folks coming in were given that number. So it's just been sitting inactive for quite a while now. That all changed, though, when this recent round of newbies started their Choir journey in 2024. Working in the library, I noticed that B077 had finally been assigned! And just as soon as this guy completes Choir School and actually joins the Tabernacle Choir (in April), I'll have the letter right ready to give to him. 

To end today's post, I wanted to share one portion of that yet-to-be-delivered letter as I think it embodies the Choir experience really well:

"You will sit by many other basses. It can sometimes be hard to get acquainted
with others, but it’s worth it. The choir is full of people from diverse backgrounds and life experiences. Some of them will become dear friends. Some of them will need support and encouragement. Some of them might have a unique way of lifting and strengthening you. As we sing together, the Spirit often works miracles in conveying the message to the hearts of those listening. Most of the impact you will never know, but don’t forget that it is so very real. More often, you’ll be the one impacted. Enjoy this great blessing and never take choir membership for granted."

Until next time, God be with you.

From today's broadcast, 1/14/24.