TCATS #482 - The Ryan Murphy Show

Every once in awhile, Mack Wilberg hands the entire Music & the Spoken Word  program over to the associate director, Ryan Murphy. And today was one of those days.

Ryan is an extremely gifted music director. His passion for making the music sound as good as possible is evident every time he steps up to the podium for a rehearsal or performance. He can hear the smallest imperfection and works hard to help us overcome those imperfections. He's gifted in being able to explain exactly what he wants from us in a way that we can understand and adjust to. It's amazing that when something doesn't sound quite right, he can pinpoint it, can articulate what we need to do to fix it, and then will rehearse it with us until it's either fixed, or he runs out of time :) 

Unfortunately, I never feel like I'm doing enough. And because I feel that way in general (thanks to my personality and habits of toxic self-criticism), I usually come away from these experiences feeling there's just one more reason why I'm not enough.  Honestly, I wish I didn't. But I do. And it's something I'm going to have to continue to work on.

Anyway, I think my favorite song from today's lineup was PILGRIM SONG. Some of the lyrics from this song seem to resonate with my hopes: "When the messenger shall say, come quit this house of clay, and with bright angels tower."

Where can I sign up?

Switching gears, any new news on the Philippines tour you might ask? 

Not really. But, this week we have a pre-tour meeting from 6-7:15 Tuesday night where we should get all of the nitty-gritty details. And then the next day, we'll each get our flight information--whether we're on flight 1 or flight 2 and what our actual seating assignment will be. I'm sure I'll be sending a text to my closest choir buddies after we get that info, just to see if the odds of sitting next to one of them was actually in my favor. . . or not. 

Today the choir men added their charcoal suit pants and their black suit pants to the wardrobe boxes that will be loaded onto the plane in a couple of weeks. Fortunately we are leaving behind all of our ties and suit coats and instead will dress like this:

Apparently, when dressing up for special occasions in the Philippines, the men wear what's called a "barong". And I for one am excited that it will probably feel a lot cooler wearing a barong than wearing a suit coat!

Other than that, everyone just continues to prepare with whatever they feel like they need to do. One of those to-do items for my friend (and tour roommate, Willy) was to better learn the clapping that is part of the Ah El Novio song--since he's never been on tour yet and we only perform that song while on tour. So I went over on Monday night to help him with that and we now feel very confident he will clap in all of the places he needs to. 

Speaking of Willy, kudos to him and the 50+ other men in the choir who just completed auditions for a solo part in the song The Spirit of God. I was amazed at not only how many wanted the part, but how amazing everyone sounded (it's rare that we get to hear each other sing a solo). Willy was one of the six or so men who were asked to come for a final round of auditions Thursday night before rehearsal (woohoo!).  In the end, Mack just decided to take all six with the instructions that each of them learn each of the three parts and come up with a rotation schedule for who would perform when. Guess that works. 

Well, that's about it for the week. I hope you feel extra loved and appreciated as you go through the next seven days and hope that you'll give yourself an extra helping of grace.

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #481: Tagalog

So in preparation for our trip to the Philippines soon (22 days and counting), we're learning two songs in Tagalog (from the Oxford Dictionary: Tagalog is an Austronesian language spoken in Luzon and neighboring islands and forming the basis of the standardized national language of the Philippines (Filipino). Its vocabulary has been much influenced by Spanish and English, and to some extent by Chinese, Sanskrit, Tamil, and Malay.) The songs are "Bahay Kubo" and "Hawak Kamay". The language has turned out to be fairly easy to pronounce, but one of the songs moves along quite quickly and I felt like the rehearsing of it was nothing short of a train wreck Thursday night, haha. I have no doubt we'll get there--and the songs do sound pretty cool--but it's definitely going to take some more work and concentration (and practice)!

As an aside, the first time I even heard the word "Tagalog" was when I was working at IBM as a software tester back when I was a college student. The development team was tasked with taking this book called "Talking Walls" and turning it into an interactive educational software experience. The book takes the reader to different parts of the world, exploring culture and language. And one of the "stops" in the book was the Philippines, where it mentioned the language Tagalog. Of course, being ignorant of the language at the time, I pronounced it (Tag-a-log). My smarter team members quickly corrected me and I have never pronounced it incorrectly since!

Good ol' IBM days in Provo, UT...

Anyway, the overall prep to go on this trip is certainly underway. The Choir leadership has been fairly silent up until now regarding measures they are taking to ensure we have safe food to eat (given what happened in Mexico last June). So I've been watching for something to come out that would help boost our confidence levels. And lo and behold, we got this statement included in our newsletter Friday: "In preparation for our travel to Manila, please spend time reading the foodborne/waterborne illnesses documents found in the Choir’s Travel App. It is the best resource for understanding food safety and health in the Philippines. Our top priority when we travel is your health and safety. The hotel management and culinary staff have provided impressive guidelines about their food standards. They have the highest food safety certification in the country (HACCP certified). They will meet our dietary needs, label food properly, and take the necessary food/beverage precautions to keep us happy and healthy during our stay."

After reading that, I was (at first) really happy that I wouldn't have to worry at all about eating/drinking at the hotel. But then I read this caveat from the official guidelines we got regarding food safety: "If the hotel mistakenly puts out foods not on the approved list (i.e. salad bar with fresh lettuce), it is a mistake. Do not eat it!"

Haha. Well, OK. I guess we don't get a free pass anywhere, including the hotel! 
So it goes, I guess. All that said, I AM grateful for everyone working behind the scenes to make this tour as successful as possible. I'm entirely sure I have no idea how many hours and effort have been spent to that end, and it's truly commendable.

Other prep underway (aside from extra rehearsals to review the 23-song concert repertoire), includes choir members posting ideas of things to take on the trip, downloading songs and movies to our phones to fill our time during the long chartered plane flight, consciously thinking about jetlag strategies (one flight gets in late at night--which is perfect--while the other one arrives early in the morning), checking phone plans to see what's covered in the country, purchasing four Covid tests (that we have to submit results of on February 10, 15, 18, and 20), and coordinating with roommates on all things related to living with someone for ten days. 

In texting with my soon-to-be-roommate Willy, he had this to say about our time together: "We're gonna play games and talk and commiserate and cry and strategize about politics and have a grand ol' time!" 

Sounds good to me! (The "cry" part was included just for me as he knows I've been going through a rough time with some things)

That about does it for this post. But to leave on a funny/cool note, a choir member saw this at his local soda/cookie establishment:

Until next time, God be with you.

TCATS #480 - Fruit of Actual Truth

I've been thinking a lot lately about actual truth versus institutionally endorsed truth. It's true they can be one and the same, but I think it's important to make the distinction because of the resulting conclusions that can be reached. One can mistakenly think that positive, heartwarming feelings (the fruits) are coming from the institution rather than the truths themselves. 

For example, as I was singing the last song today during our Music & the Spoken Word program, I felt a warm/positive feeling when singing the following lyrics:

*Courage, for the Lord is on our side.

*An unseen power will aid me and you.

*Prosper the cause of truth.

*No need to fear.

At first I was tempted to associate these good feelings with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, itself. After all, the Church does endorse this song and its teachings. But really, the truth in these lyrics can (and first and foremost should) stand on its own. Any human being on planet earth can choose to believe these truths and gain strength from them if they so choose. 

It's no particular secret I'm on a faith journey to figure some things out. Part of that journey is cutting the strings attached to long-held beliefs and truths and examining them from different perspectives and understandings. That process also includes detaching them from any particular institution. 

While this journey is fraught with uncomfortable realities and feelings of loneliness and disappointment, I'm grateful for the "a-ha!" moments I have along the way and for recognizing truths that feel good to me. If I can come up with a substantial list of truths that I can fully support, I'll be better equipped to make some visible progress in my journey. I'll also feel less guilt when I have a hard time reconciling things I've been taught with my lived experience and the fruit from actual truth. 

Example? 

Taking the same song today, the following lyrics are ones I had a much harder time feeling good after singing them:

*Let us all press on in the work of the Lord, that when life is o'er we main gain a reward. (Yes, I want to press forward in helping people, but I don't want to do it just to gain a reward in the next life.)

*The Lord our helper, will ever be near. (I often don't feel Him near, even when I feel like I'm entitled to that or really need or want that.)

*In the days of trial, His saints He will cheer. (Is that supposed to be often? Just in the next life? Maybe a couple of times a year? It's been a very long time since I've felt cheerful and full of optimistic hope)

 

I'd be tempted at this point to say "Well Ryan, you must not be a very good member of the Church because you don't believe or resonate with or identify with over a third of this song. What is wrong with you?" 

Now by disassociating the institution from the truth, I can say "I'm just going to take the truths from this song that bring good fruits to my soul and the rest I can leave behind. And leaving some behind is OK."

Anyway, I didn't quite intend to make this post so introspective or heavy, but that's the way it turned out and I'm going to choose to be OK with it :) 

Hope you all have a fantastic week and seek out truth that will bring you fruits of love, hope, and peace.

Until next time, may God be with you.

Singing "Let Us All Press On", 1/21/24

TCATS #479 - The Bookend Basses

Today's broadcast was probably my 400th+ broadcast of all time and sometimes (as you might imagine) I just like to find unique or interesting aspects of my weekly experience. The songs we sang today were fairly typical ones, but if I had to assign a percentage to each of the songs (indicating how often the basses actually sang), it would look like this:

Standing on the Promises (85%)

I Know That My Savior Loves Me (20%)

Dearest Children, God is Near You (10%)

Down to the River (60%)

As I Have Loved You (25%)

Press Forward Saints (100%)

As you can see, we started strong, ended stronger, but had a fairly limited "middle"!

Being a bass is interesting. We rarely get the melody, several songs are full of repeated lines, we can never sing high enough (just ask Ryan Murphy in particular, haha), and we're often told to sing less or sing so we can be "felt but not heard." It's sometimes a thankless job, but someone's got to do it! Every so often we have those moments when we get to shine in all our "lower glory". I guess being a bass is a lot like life, actually: full of routines, supporting others, being content, and only occasionally enjoying those moments full of joy and splendor. 

During the break today, Wes and Patrick and I talked about the two options we get to pick from in regards to activities in the Philippines. One option is to tour Corrigidor Island (WWII related), and the other is to enjoy Pico de Loro beach. Pros and cons to each, but we decided to go with the beach. Amidst our concerts, rehearsals, and service activities, it'll be nice to have a little downtime.

One other choir-related thing that was kind of fun. So my good friend Ryan was in the Choir for 21+ years, having been released just a couple of years ago. At the time of his release, he emailed me a letter that he wanted me to print off and give to the new choir member who would be inheriting his choir number (B077). Sadly, none of the new folks coming in were given that number. So it's just been sitting inactive for quite a while now. That all changed, though, when this recent round of newbies started their Choir journey in 2024. Working in the library, I noticed that B077 had finally been assigned! And just as soon as this guy completes Choir School and actually joins the Tabernacle Choir (in April), I'll have the letter right ready to give to him. 

To end today's post, I wanted to share one portion of that yet-to-be-delivered letter as I think it embodies the Choir experience really well:

"You will sit by many other basses. It can sometimes be hard to get acquainted
with others, but it’s worth it. The choir is full of people from diverse backgrounds and life experiences. Some of them will become dear friends. Some of them will need support and encouragement. Some of them might have a unique way of lifting and strengthening you. As we sing together, the Spirit often works miracles in conveying the message to the hearts of those listening. Most of the impact you will never know, but don’t forget that it is so very real. More often, you’ll be the one impacted. Enjoy this great blessing and never take choir membership for granted."

Until next time, God be with you.

From today's broadcast, 1/14/24.

TCATS #478 - 2024 Begins

As the Choir and Orchestra ended their two-week break and reconvened this past Thursday to make beautiful music, they were joined by 35 new soon-to-be Choir members. These new members will spend four months in Choir School (and the Chorale) preparing to become full-fledged members of the Tabernacle Choir. They were distinguished from the rest of us by colored dots on their name tags and could be spotted wandering the halls getting familiar with their music lockers and the rooms they'd spend considerable time in. It's the circle of choir life. People come, they partake, they experience, they contribute, and then they leave and are replaced by someone else. 

At rehearsal, President Leavitt greeted us and recapped what was in store for the year ahead. We have our Philippines tour in just seven weeks, Lloyd Newell being replaced by a yet-unknown individual, General Conference, the Summer Concert, another tour opportunity in September to the southeast United States (exact location to be announced later), then General Conference again, followed by the Christmas Concert. And, of course, about 48 MSW performances 😀.

The rehearsal itself went OK. It was nice to see everyone again and sing. But if I'm being honest, for me personally, I felt a disconnect that I can't quite elaborate on. Sort of this feeling of not belonging or of standing on the very edge of the rehearsal experience about to fall off. I felt sad and frustrated at trying to interpret what my feelings were trying to tell me. The sadness was even more felt because I had woke up that morning feeling quite excited at the prospect of going back to Choir. So to get there and then feel "down" and confused was...hard. 

Anyway...

I'm sure the broadcast today involved a lot of traveling miracles. Given the snowstorm that was in-progress as everyone tried to make their way to the Tabernacle, there's little doubt of dozens of harrowing stories to tell. In fact, rehearsal was delayed 20 min just to give people extra time to arrive. At long last though, rehearsal began and made our way through seven songs that were deemed by Mack as "old friends". Which of course is code for "we've sang these at least 100 times each, so we shouldn't need to rehearse them too much." My favorite of the bunch was "We Thank Thee Lord for This New Day". The minor key seemed to fit my mood. I know my personal life challenges are bleeding into my choir experience, but I'm not sure how to prevent that from happening. It's just a lonely, unsure, grasping-for-hope time for me and it's all I can do sometimes to just show up and hope for the best. There were several friends who asked me how I was and they did their best to respond in helpful, kind, and sympathetic ways as I recounted my honest feelings. One day I'll surprise them all by saying "things couldn't be better!" and they'll look at me skeptically and respond "Are you sure?"

Visiting the Choir today was Deborah Voigt--who was the guest artist at the 2013 Christmas Concert. She addressed the Choir after the broadcast and relayed how happy she was to be back and hear us sing (and hear the orchestra play). She said singing with the Choir was one of the highlights of her career and thanked us for all that we do.

And that, as they say, is that. 

Until next time, God be with you. 

From today's MSW Broadcast

TCATS #477 - 2023 Christmas Concert Top Ten

The Christmas Concert each year is so big, so epic, and involves so many people, I always feel inadequate to try and write up any sort of comprehensive review. In addition, a lot of choir members post experiences that their friends or loved ones had in attending the concert--and in reading through those, it's evident that each experience is uniquely personal and inspirational. So, I have to acknowledge that all I can really report on is the experience I had. Which I'll do by posting my top ten concert moments. If you want to read through some reviews by the media, please go HERE, HERE, and HERE (with a video preview HERE). 

TOP TEN (in no particular order)

10. The two days before the first concert are always exciting as I get to witness the whole program coming together for the first time. Everyone has done their part individually (choir, bells, orchestra, trumpets, actors, guest artists, stage crew, etc) and then we come together to transform individual contributions into a beautiful program of peace.

9. Singing right next to Wes and Dave made the whole experience all the better. I have respect for all my bass brethren, but events like the Christmas Concert are made all the better when I get to share the experience with two friends standing right next to me. (And since this is Wes' last Christmas Concert 😢, I was glad to share it with him)

8. Hearing the story of Victor Hugo and seeing it so beautifully acted out. I had no idea Victor and his wife had opened up their home for years each week to feed homeless and needy children. It was a touching story and made me appreciate the author all the more.

7. Hearing our guest artist Michael Maliakel sing "God Help the Outcast" (here) from the film "Hunchback of Notre Dame". It's a beautiful song in its own right, but listening to the lyrics as Michael sang them with such compassion was a really emotional experience. There are so many people in this world who feel like an outcast in so many ways, and I thought about them as I listened to this song each night.

God help the outcasts
Hungry from birth
Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth
God help my people
We look to you still
God help the outcasts or nobody will

I ask for nothing, I can get by
But I know so many less lucky than I
Please help my people
The poor and down trod
I thought we all were the children of God
God help the outcasts
Children of God

6. Listening to our guest artists Michael and Leslie talk about their lives and answer questions that choir members had for them (this was done before the concert on Saturday). They are both such good people and they expressed how grateful they were to be a part of the concert and to be treated with so much love and kindness while they've been here. 

5. Being asked by Wes to name my favorites songs. The question made me really think. Most of my favorites were ones being sung by Michael. So I picked two of his, and then I ended up picking one more that just the Choir did. I already mentioned one of Michael's above ("God Bless the Outcast"). Another one of my favorites from Michael was “I Wonder as I Wander”. It had significant meaning to me personally as I’ve done a lot of wondering while wandering through my pain this past year. That wondering has led to me feeling much more of Christ’s love and awareness. As far as the favorite song the Choir sang, I went with “Still, Still, Still”. As I was singing it Friday night, I really felt something. The words to that song are perfect.  And again, for me personally, singing that song reminds me of the need I have to be still and be present in the moment so that I can better recognize God’s love. (Honorable mention goes to “Angels From the Realms of Glory.” I know that’s one we sing every year, but there’s nothing like singing that last note and having the audience burst forth with applause! Quite the rush.)

4. Seeing the audience respond to our performance of "Ode to Joy". Wow. I can't remember a time during the past eight Christmas Concert performances where the audience gave us a standing ovation for a song (let alone a song performed in the middle of the concert). I can't say I loved learning it (we sing it in German), but it was definitely a crowd-pleaser!

3. Being able to talk with some of my buddies during the breaks and at dinner on Saturday evening (Wes, Patrick, Jason, Matt, Ben, Willy, Clark, Jay, Alan, Siope and others). Love these guys.

2. Making eye contact with several individuals (both adults and kids) as we made our way down the aisles during the processional. I could tell it made their day to receive a smile and be acknowledged.

1. Sitting next to a friend during some downtime we had. We didn't say a lot. We just needed to sit in the space we were in emotionally, together. He and I share a reality in which we feel like we don't quite fit in (for different--but in some ways, similar reasons) and it's always nice to know we're not alone.

And now, the Choir will take a much needed two-week break. 

See you all in 2024!

And until then, God be with you.

TCATS #476 - Of Lloyd Newell, the Busiest Week, and the Guest House

The choir experience started off with some sobering news: Lloyd Newell, the host of Music & the Spoken Word for 34 years now has been released from his service. I guess it wasn't too much of a shock because that's a LONG time to be serving in just one position. Still though... people all over the world associate him with this program and with providing words of wisdom, love, peace, and insight every Sunday. It's hard to really calculate all the ways he'll be missed. But, whoever does take his place will, I'm sure, do a great job and perhaps infuse new life into this role. I'm personally hoping we get a woman replacement--I think that would be cool. But we'll see. 

We had a lengthy rehearsal after the broadcast and after that was over and fulfilling my library duties, I got home about 12:45. On the way out today, they had handed us a FOUR-PAGE handout on all the things we need to know about this upcoming week, so I took some time to read through it. Lots of stuff to keep in mind. But most of it was typical instructions that have applied every year:  security issues, parking, where to go when, how to line up, what to bring and what not to bring, overall schedules, etc. 

We'll rehearse Tuesday and Wednesday--Wednesday being the day I love the most (seeing everything come together for the first time). And then our performances will be Thursday thru Saturday, with Sunday's MSW being one that will feature our special guests. It's a very long week, but an exciting one, and being to share it with 60,000 people (and more, when it's released next year on PBS) is a pretty awesome feeling. I'm also looking forward to the bonding that occurs with my fellow basses and friends when singing together songs of Christ.

On a different topic....

As the year starts to come to an end, I always get into "reflection mode" and try and examine where I am and where I want to be--and then how to get there. There's plenty that's happened this year that has taken me to the depths of pain, heartache, guilt, and despair. But in the midst of all of that is growth, perspective, and understanding--as well as increased empathy and compassion. I don't claim to be an expert in any of these things, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to gain a little more of them. They will serve me as I try and serve and help others in whatever path they are trodding along. 

All of this ties in with a poem that a good friend shared with me a few weeks ago. I was impressed by it and wanted to share it here. It's by Rumi:

THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning, a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of your furniture.
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

As I look towards next year and all of the challenges and potential hardships, I need to stop and remember that there is much of life I can't control. My job is to live in the moment, embrace what I'm given--either by learning from it, enjoying it, being tested by it, or feeling pain from it. And have hope that all of these "unexpected (and expected) visitors" that come into my "house" can lead to a new delight. I don't know yet if I can be grateful for each such visitor, or welcome each with laughter or proactively let each of them in. But I can try knowing I'll be better in some way for doing it.

Until next time, God be with you.